Got sent home from work today, and feel discouraged....

If you remember, I posted about my new job, that I really didn't like...here is the link..

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9056662

Since then, I've been trying to soldier on, and do my best to learn my job. I don't usually have a really tough time learning a new job (although I have never had one as challenging as this, though). But things started off bad, and now they are worse. And I'm hoping you guys can give me some insight.

So last thursday, things were especially bad (this is my second week at this place). Basically, a heating oven which we were using to dry off stuff started on fire and the sprinklers came on, and the whole lab is a mess. Now, it wasn't my fault at all, but most of the people in other labs in this building do think it's my fault. Basically, I've had anxiety every day before coming to work, and then this happens, and I'm about ready to break. On friday I went to work, and felt horrible. I couldn't eat or sleep the day before, and had no energy left and a massive case of gastro problems. I helped do clean up, but left about a half hour early from work.

Today, I came in and my boss asked me how I'm feeling. Of couse, I'm nervous, and anxious and not feeling well, so I tell her that I'm not feeling so well. She is clearly frustrated with me, gives me a lecture on the expectations of the job, and sends me home. Basically tells me to go to the doctor and find out what's wrong with me. I say okay, and leave.

Except I know whats wrong with me. I'm anxious all the time. I'm not eating well. I'm not sleeping well. I used to be a pretty confident person, and my resume and references are really good, but I've lost all my confidence and feel overwhelmed by the job (which I am expected to do without training). I haven't had a week off in four years, and I'm so tired all of the time.

And I don't know what to do. I can't take vacation time on my third week of the job. Quitting would feel great, but I need a job. Christmas feels like it's years away...what the fuck do I do?????

Thats really the only thing I can think of here. Anti-anxiety meds may help as well (Lexapro works well on that for me). Once you can get the physical anxiety under control you may be better at your job as well. Meanwhile, maybe you can keep an eye out for a better job but casually.:hug:

Yeah, I might have to, though. Ya know, I've always been really hardy.....I mean, I've been through some real shit. I've never been so anxious or scared in my life.

I haven't been excercising as much (no time), and that might also be a factor. Basically, I've lost all confidence in my ability to do the job, even though I have the education and experience. I feel like a loser, and that's not something I've never had to deal with.

I'm sure it's mostly me, but I also feel like I'm not getting any support at work. The pressure to perform, without coworkers to helping me get up to speed, is killing me.

It sounds like the job. Check the benefits also. Many places have FREE 800 numbers where you can go to talk to someone if you are troubled..Won't get you meds, but it could help....

Ah, my heart goes out to you...

I truly wish I had some very helpful, concrete advice, but alas, I do not.

However, I can give you a cyber-hug: :hug:

Let's hope someone will come along who can truly help you!

Then try to relax and do the job as best you can.


Having read your other post, it seems like you may not be in the perfect field for you. Is there a similar field you could move into, where your schooling would still be applicable?

from actually working, that I find it hard to muster up the energy to look for other work or look into other fields of work.

I'm not normally one to suggest medication, but if your anxiety is so bad that it's impacting your ability to function and keep a job, they might be called for.

to the anxiety and bipolar cycling.

But you can have all the :hug:s you want. :)

deal with the stress, especially when it comes to worrying about what the parents, staff, and principal think of me. There is _always_ someone unhappy, and that makes _me_ unhappy.

Do you know what you'd like to do? If you're young and just starting off in your career, I'd say find out what you like to do. Don't spend your whole life doing something you hate. Why would you? The money won't make it worth it. If you already have a graduate degree, you may be able to get qualified and credentialed in a field you like fairly quickly.

As to the stress part of your job, I had to go to my doc for some pills about 6 months ago - very high stress at work. Hadn't had a solid night's sleep in about a month. Dreaded work. Sunday night was hell. He gave me some anti-anxiety meds that got me past that.

Apparently, I'm suffering from depression, which may be altering my perceptions or something.

Hehe....Evoman depressed...that's a new one to me. But I have a feeling it may be true.

It sounds like you used to have time to exercise and don't any more. but especially since you are experiencing physical symptoms, I think you really do have to take the time to take care of yourself. That's such a basic thing and we all forget it when we stress, but we just have to do it. Good luck!

"Even if it's out of your field. Damn, don't beat a dead horse. I did that for years at a job. Get the fuck out. Close one door, another opens. Don't close the door, and you're stuck there.

But be careful which ones you are given. Someone up-thread suggested Lexapro but I had a very severe reaction to this and know others who have also. I was then given another medication that I hated the way it made me feel. If you have never taken anti-anxiety meds before ask for a low dosage and that way you can increase it if needed but the side effects will not be as bad if there are any.

I personally take xanax because it is one that can be taken only when I need it and not required daily. But then I have no problem with addiction or dependency. Doctors will not always give this med out unless they know their patient and their needs. Talk to a physician and see which type of drug would be best for your needs.

Well, it is a ... 'job'. Don't fall into the thing the kids have fallen into.
The 'entertainment entitlement' syndrome.
If it was 'fun' they wouldn't have to pay people to do it, would they? No.
Work is a thing people don't want to do, thus you get paid to do it.
So you just have to suffer thru' it. Temporary inconvenience.
Take it like a man. Oh, you're not a man? Take it like a tough cookie. Oh, you're not a cookie. Oops, I'm like Peggy no advice.
dc

I don't expect my job to be entertaining. Hell, I've worked more shit jobs than most people, and grew up in crippling poverty (first generation immigrant with parents who didn't know a lick of english), so when people tell me I need to toughen up, I wanna give em a brief introduction to my life. Either that, or a dragon kick the base of the skull.

Anyhow, thanks for your reply, heh. I will take it into consideration.

Actually, they are both piss poor options.

For work related stress.
Check into it.

Apparently, I have almost all the symptoms of depression (except the suicidal thing). So I was given an anti-depressant. My gf is really relieved because she has been sensing that I'm not myself and she has been worried about me. So, yeah...we'll see how it goes.

now be very aware of how you're feeling with the anti-depressant - it's not always a match the first time - you may need to go lower, higher, or even try a different one. Record how you're feeling daily so when you see the doc next time you'll have a reference. Good luck to you!

go back to get the dose adjusted or to get a new script. They all work slightly differently and sometimes it takes a while to come up with the right combo. If you can see a therapist, that should help, also.

I'm glad you took this step.

:hug:

Managing people is really more about psychology than just lecturing people on what their expectations are. You get the most production out of people by building them up, not tearing them down. This is especially true of new employees.

damn straight - compassion and working with people instead of tearing them down always gets better results