Oh Jesus.

I talk on a regular basis with the woman at the pharmacy, since I'm there so much.

I went there yesterday to pick up my colonoscopy prep. We discussed how I was doing the prep today, etc. I don't have to drink the crap until 6 pm, and I took the pills when I got home from the pharmacy.

Anyway, I had to go there again this morning for a different prescription. She's ringing me out and says..."good luck with the colonoscopy prep".

I said "Oh God, I already drank that shit this morning...didn't do a goddamn thing to me".

She goes...wha....and just looks at me.

Then I say "But I have to tell you...I haven't felt too good in the last 5 minutes or so".

Then, I grab my stomach and bend iver a little and go...OH....OHHHHH BOY....GOHHHHH.....OHHHHHHHH......

She panics and starts going....COME BACK HERE!!! GO AROUND AND COME BACK HERE!! THERE'S A MENSROOM BACK HERE!!!!

I burst into laughter. All she said was "you bastard".

for fear they will spit in your food. What do you suppose a pharmacist can do?

I bring in too much revenue. :hi:

:fistbump:

The staff there knows how I am...but it was still funny. :hi:

(I'm not sure if she believed me entirely or not, but she wasn't going to take any chances)

I know you're not supposed to mix Jalapeños in it, but your pharmacy woman might have a sense of humor.

In short, you're pretty much doomed. Sorry.

:D :hi:

:D :hug:

:spank: :hug: :hi:

:rofl: :hi:

I used to shave and brush my teeth in the shower (but I no longer do neither).

One time, I go to spit the toothpaste out into the drain and I coughed or sneezed or something happened....I can't remember what.

Anyway, the toothpaste ran down my chest, stomach, and onto my...errrr...scrotum.

Here's some advice...DON'T EVER DO THAT!!!! It burned so bad I thought I was going to cry. Don't know why, but it did...

:hi:

I know what I'm talking about.

No?

Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, LeftyFingerPop. And there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, sushi, candy canes, Milky Way bars, turducken, liver wurst ... ice cream. Ice cream, LeftyFingerPop, children's ice cream. It's unbelievable! It's not only the scrotum anymore.

OK, you are a very smart man.

But tell me this then...why do they not put a warning on toothpaste...

WARNING! DO NOT APPLY TO TESTICLES!

They will be whiter and you will have fewer "testicular cavities"! :rofl:

Okay, stole it from here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090321123125AAXBrIo

I like this answer...

You will develop florosis of your tesicles, a very painful condition, and as a result teh spetatozoa will crystalize which means that if you masterbate or have sex you will be ejeaculation tiny crystalized rocks.

Pure wonderland! There's an answer for everything ...

That's how she _really_ said it, right? And I _know_ I'm right, cuz you're not the first man I've met from QUEENS! :rofl:

Yes. You are correct here.

:blush:

:rofl: :rofl: :hug:

*I've got nothin' in the world to do but flip you, dear Queensian, sh!t until CMW puts dinner on the table.

You're welcome. :P

that he posted once...I bet you will get a fine meal!

He trademarked the name. :rofl:

I'm outie 'til tomorrow. I wish you and your bowels a successful Wednesday, sweets. :hug:

:loveya:

I wish you and Wesley a good dinner, and a good night. Thanks for the laughs today.

:hug: :loveya:

If it weren't for your dogs and Mom, I would swear you were my friend, Jim. Lotta similarities.

My wheels are turning and I could say that yes, I am Jim Lotta, and I don't have a mom or dogs...but I just.can't.do.it.

Hi Kali! :hug:

He used to have a really good comedy show on the local community station. Not the typical dj just playing Carlin and Weird Al, he had a really well put together show and he was funny as a host. Got dumped because he dared to question the way the Board of Directers was taking away the membership's rights. Good guy, but can get hilariously gross too.

:hide:

:D

:thumbsup:

:shrug:

:hide:

I was slamming that nasty shit down like it was cold beer! :beer:

When thy medical procedure is done.

:)

:rofl: :hi:

***error 666***

***this DU apparition no longer exists***

Jesus Christ!!!!

unless you have a laptop. Good luck Lefty. :loveya: :hug:

It's kind of a simultaneous thing.

I appreciate your good wishes! :hug: :loveya:

:evilgrin:

Seriously, Lefty, prayers and vibes headed your way.
Your sense of humor is infectious. Let's keep it
that way, OK? Here's to the docs finding nothing
in you butt except for the fact you can be an asshole.

:toast:

:hug:

I do appreciate your kind words. Nothing to worry about I don't think...this will be my 3rd one.

Had to get my first one in my 40's...I forget why...some kind of problem. Then, they found some weird polyps, so he wants me to get them every 3 years.

Thanks again... :toast: :hug:

On the other hand...

I had a colonoscopy last month. The prep stuff was called "Golytely" and I'm not kidding. No doubt named by someone with a very sick and twisted sense of humor.

Good luck with your test!

My dad had one a couple years ago....apparently the prep sucks!

Also: best story ever.

The prep is manageable, and the procedure is actually great because of the fine drugs. You don't remember a thing.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9132432

It wasn't me!

:hide:

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

You just wrote down the plot synopsis to Stephanie Meyers' Twilight series, and you're trying to pass it off as something that happened to you.

You're going to get a letter from her lawyers. Just you wait.

I'm not into scat at all. ;-)

Although I think the proctologist is a vampire. But basically, yeah, it's the same story.

2 polyps removed...nothing else found.

Procedure was easy...STILL very tired from the drugs.

Doc told me that if I was not for the polyps, I would be a perfect asshole. :D

to me! Glad you are done with that shit and feeling a little better buddy. :loveya: :hug: