When is it appropriate in a relationship to discuss finances?

I inherited a fair amount of money when a family member passed away a few years ago and I've been a little paranoid about it ever since. Nobody would ever know I have this money from my lifestyle or job. I live well within my means. I've always been very frugal with money.

To be blunt, I'm afraid of attracting a gold digger when I'm dating girls. I wouldn't dream of telling a woman I'm just starting to date anything about this. But I imagine, if a relationship becomes serious enough, I would have to tell her about it. What stage in a relationship should that time be? And is it really any of her business unless I'm at the stage where I want to get married?

My concern, I guess, is if I meet a great girl and just spring this up on her after dating for a long time, she might get pissy that I didn't trust her by telling her sooner. I've had too many unfortunate instances with neurotic women for this NOT to be a concern.

unless you are planning on marrying the person.

If you decide to marry then that's the time.

If you were in terrible debt, I'd say you have a responsibility to tell her.

If you have means, it will come up in normal conversation that you have investments and believe in saving money.

I wouldn't make an effort to bring it up.

I'm a stockbroker. Many people with great wealth live like everydoby else. You'd never know it from their lifestyle. I see this every day.

On edit, in my own case, the issue came up when she brought me home to meet her folks. Her father fairly bluntly asked me if I had any investments, and we had a nice talk.

This is such a personal question that I deign to respond. But I've often noticed a line drawn in the timeline of a relationship, when people speak less of themselves individually and more of themselves as a united couple. I think when you're living with someone, and sharing many of the same expenses, it would probably be prudent to let her know about this. Before that, while your expenses are separate, it can be categorized as none of her business.

My first serious relationship was very communist as far as money went, but we were poor and it was advantageous to do things that way. Presently, my girlfriend and I have completely separate finances, even though we live together and own the house jointly. But when we decided to buy the house together, we really opened up to each other's financial situation. It does help that we have fairly equal income and savings, though.

but if for some reason it does come up, no mater what do not lie about it.


Edit: You want to go out? :evilgrin: I may not be a girl or gay, but I am good company!

At any time before that, it's irrelevant. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to marriage -- it's a contract, and an economic relationship. To draw an analogy, any business adviser would tell you that you don't disclose your finances until you're ready to make a tender offer. When you're ready to buy the business / marry the girl, have a grown up discussion. If you tell her before you're serious, you run the risk of her wanting to hook you for the wrong reasons.

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But before discussing either of the above.