When in a relationship should you discuss the relationship?

I've had my eye on this girl for a few months, she's in my Astronomy class, we have almost everything in common, but I get mixed signals. When is a good time to discuss the possibilities?

If she accepts, then you can discuss things further. If she denies, then you know where you stand for sure.

Always the best time to get to know a girl on campus. It's daytime, she'll be more relaxed, everyone has someplace to go before dinnertime. If you hit it off after a few post-class coffee dates, ask her out.

If you want to discuss "relationships" per se, do it in the coffee shop. If you want to discuss "having a relationship," do it after the coffee dates graduate into a few evening dates.

In other words, find out if you have anything in common with this girl first. If you end up in a relationship, don't you want something to TALK about between the heavy breathing and the studying?!

But I've done the whole "what are you doing after class" bit and am still left wondering, "what if?" We joke, we have a good time, she's not repulsed by me, what is a guy to think????

I'm no love guru. Women are mysterious beings. I'd be lying if I said I had them figured out. Each one is unique and there's no telling what will come from your advances. All you can do is try.

It's just that I want this to be real soooooo badly. It's been a while since anyone of the farer sex has given my any attention, I don't want to blow it.

if you have to talk about it, it's not really there.

its like a metaphor of the heisenberg principle, if you observe it, you distort it.

just let it flow.

nice doggie

but thanks about the doggie, he is a good pup. In every relationship I've ever had, we've always had the talk which means that it is worth mentioning

pretty simple, actually.

a real soul mate doesn't need to verbalize everything, and talking about the relationship is over rated. it forces one to set in concrete things that need not be definitive for a long time, if ever.

if one thinks he/she can describe love, one doesn't have a clue about it. its the life you lead between heart beats.

I've had girlfriends in the past where I got the feeling like "this is it, this is the one I will spend the rest of my life with." The only thing is, life got in the way of all that. Things aren't as cut and dry as they seem, and one person's "soul mate" is another person's crazy ex-girlfriend

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I don't think it is as black and white as you put it, but it rings true to me in a lot of ways.

Any couple that spends a lot of time talking about their relationship is probably at some level doing something wrong, but at the same time every couple has to talk about their relationship on occasion if only to keep a clear line of communication.

it's a little early to be discussing the relationship?

If you've done the whole "hanging out after class" thing and she seems cool with that, make sure to give her an indication you're really interested in taking it further.

If I went out for coffee (cuz I like guys with goatees, dontcha know...), and got no further indication that you were interested, I'd be a little confused, and wouldn't want to carry it further unless it was indicated that's what you wanted.

If you talk about a new movie or something over coffee, and she says "Yeah, I'd like to see that," then there's your in. Call her up, and say "So how about the new Johnny Depp movie that we talked about?"

This is from a happily married woman. Send out signals, and you'll get some back. Capisce?

Kate Wolf, the goddess of folk music, wrote this song commenting on "new relationships" ... perhaps her thoughts will give you a few ideas ... (sorry it's all in caps ... )

HERE IN CALIFORNIA

WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY MAMA TOLD ME
SHE SAID, CHILD, TAKE YOUR TIME.
DON'T FALL IN LOVE TOO QUICKLY, BEFORE YOU KNOW YOUR MIND.
SHE HELD ME 'ROUND THE SHOULDERS, AND IN A VOICE SO SOFT AND KIND,
SHE SAID, LOVE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY AND LOVE CAN ROB YOU BLIND.

HERE IN CALIFORNIA, THE FRUIT HANGS HEAVY ON THE VINE.
THERE'S NO GOLD; I THOUGHT I'D WARN YA
AND THE HILLS TURN BROWN IN SUMMERTIME.

NOW I MAY LEARN TO LOVE YOU BUT I CAN'T SAY WHEN.
THIS MORNING WE WERE STRANGERS AND TONIGHT WE'RE ONLY FRIENDS.
I'LL TAKE MY TIME TO KNOW YOU; I'LL TAKE MY TIME TO SEE
THERE'S NOTHING I WON'T SHOW YOU IF YOU TAKE YOUR TIME WITH ME.

HERE IN CALIFORNIA, THE FRUIT HANGS HEAVY ON THE VINE.
THERE'S NO GOLD; I THOUGHT I'D WARN YA
AND THE HILLS TURN BROWN IN SUMMERTIME.

IT'S AN OLD FAMILIAR STORY; AN OLD FAMILIAR RHYME.
TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON, TO EVERY PURPOSE THERE'S A TIME.
A TIME TO LOVE AND COME TOGETHER; A TIME WHEN LOVE LONGS FOR A NAME.
A TIME FOR QUESTIONS WE CAN'T ANSWER THOUGH WE ASK THEM JUST THE SAME.

HERE IN CALIFORNIA, THE FRUIT HANGS HEAVY ON THE VINE.
THERE'S NO GOLD; I THOUGHT I'D WARN YA
AND THE HILLS TURN BROWN IN SUMMERTIME.

Discuss it whenever needed to avoid misunderstandings.

If you can read each others' minds or communicate well non-verbally, you might never have to discuss the relationship explicitly. Some of the best ones just flow naturally. OTOH some people like me have a hard time reading people through non-verbal cues, and apparently people sometimes have a hard time reading me.

Depending on how things go, you may or may not need a relationship talk. I don't know about your college, but at my alma mater opposite sex friendships were quite common. You might actually have to say something sometime to indicate that you are interested in something different from friendship. Don't do this until you get to know her and know a little bit about her attitudes towards dating.