I spoke to my mother today. Ice is warmer.

This is an update from my coming out to her last friday. I feel sick.

Good luck! :hug:

Patience. Understand that it will take her time to deal with it. Most of all continue to love her.

my $.02 but I hope it helps

ease with some time. But, if not, please have some peace in knowing that you did nothing wrong. There might never have been a perfect time.

Good thoughts your way.

My older brother's gay, and my mom went nuts when he told her. It took her a couple of years to warm back up, but then she totally accepted it, and often went to stay with him and his partner.

Give your mom some time, lp. She has a certain image of you (or what she *thinks* you should be). Obviously, that image has nothing to do with reality.

You have your own life and you deserve every happiness -- don't wait for your mom to "approve" of your life.

If I were a betting man, however, I would lay the house on the table that she will be your best friend again, given a little time.

Hang in there -- :hug:

give her some time. This is no doubt very new to her. Hang in there, keep talking and it WILL get better. I promise.

i had told her i was bi when i was younger and she said she knew this i was just confirming it...regarless i feel so sick...

Don't try to take them on for her. This is a difficult path to walk right now. I wish you peace, and soon...

Love to you -- :hug:

:hug:

:hug: to you too

You're in the right here, hun :x

She'll get over it, I know people who have done it here... most of their parents are fine with it now. Keep the faith =)

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

just know you'll always have your DU family.

Hopefully her cold demeanor is just her way of needing time to absorb and process this. May she soon come to the realization that it isn't important who you love, but how the person you love treats you.

Good luck.

my brother came out 3 years ago and even now she is mean to him...alas i think i just severed our relationship

:hug:

This situation alone is never easy...

The one brief relationship I had, my ex was struggling with coming out issues as well and it was my first relationship too. The timing is a bit of a coincidence here as he'd come out at a similar time, otherwise I wouldn't make a mention of it, but the chap I'm thinking of lives in Minnesota. Or did at the time... Dunno, 3 years is a long time and after the breakup I eventually acted disrespectfully toward him (I didn't even know that I had, I was just bewildered and depressed over the breakup at the time, but I did act rudely toward him and looking back I'd learned to see what a horrible rotten jerk I was)... My attitude was wrong and very stupid on my part... If you are the person I'm thinking of, please relay a big apology on my part... If none of this seems familiar, I just acted like a fool again. :-) (my name is Dave...)

I have a 4 year old daughter and the idea of loving her any less for any reason is...well...I don't know. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Your child is the only person you should ever love unconditionally in my opinion. I can't imagine giving any less emotionally to the human I choose to bring into this world.

I guess the question at hand is what kind of relationship do you want with your mother?

If she absorbed you brother's homosexuality to the extent that she stayed with him, she will come to accept yours. I am the oldest of five and my mothers favorite. I told her when I was 38. She cried and we stayed distant for a while, a short while. Her instinct is to love you and she still does. It just takes time to accept. She knew you were bisexual so she probably wasn't as surprised as she wants you to think.

Thats one thing about mothers: they know how to push your buttons. Of course they do-they PROGRAMMED THEM!!!

Mom died when I was 45. Before her death she lived with my partner Michael and me for 8 months-quite possibly the most enjoyable eight months of her life. We treated her like a queen and made her feel special. My partner cared for her during the final summer of her life (he's a teacher so he wasn't working). She was terminally ill and he opened his heart to her. She overcame her deeply religious background and disappointment in time, and came to love my partner far more than any of her sons/daughters-in-law.

Give her time and love her.

:7

I agree with Rowdyboy, give her some more time; perhaps she will come around. If she doesn't it is her loss.

And if she does, then you can be open with her from now on. If you didn't tell her, she would never really know who you are; unless she found out from someone else.

I hope she comes to accept you as you are.

I waited until I was 48 years old, and I had met Bertha, before I sat down with my mom and dad and came out to them. I had always feared their reaction; I lived in fear needlessly.

My mom and dad accept me as I am; they know there is more to my life than my being gay. They have some inner conflict because of their religious beliefs, and we have talked about my understanding of God's love.

I truly hope your mother comes to accept the fact that you are the same daughter she has always loved, that nothing has changed, and that she now knows you better. It may take some time; be patient with her and let her come to terms with her newfound knowledge.

I won't say that if she never accepts you it's only her loss. I know how much I feared losing the love of my mom and dad, and that's a terrible thing to live with. Saying it would be only her loss minimizes the importance of your feelings, and of your grief.

I'll be sending thoughts of love and comfort your way. :hug:

Hey, Mom:

Because of her sexual orientation, your daughter has probably experienced fear, shame, humiliation, and isolation for many years. How thoughtful of you to add to her pain with your icy rejection of her--and just when she is quite likely to be at her most vulnerable. You do have the right touch, Mom. Have you been practicing or does emotional abandonment come naturally to you?


(Sorry, lionesspriyanka. I hope your mom gets it together and you can mend the relationship--if that's what you want--but this shit makes me fucking mad.)

if i told you my mom thinks we are not discriminated against...and therefore we dont need her support

:hug: I missed the other thread but I know that parents should give unconditional love to their children. So, I hope your Mom remembers that. There is nothing wrong with you but with your Mom if she cannot accept who you are. :hug: