7 Bullshit Police Myths Everyone Believes

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#7. Forensic Science is Magic

As Seen On:

The various CSI shows, Bones

Typical Scenario:

There has been a murder. While the regular cops are all wasting time talking about "witnesses," "motives" and "evidence," the CSI team walks in and gets shit done. Within seconds they find a single hair, scan it with a green laser and discover the identity of the killer, saving countless lives with their ingenious magical science. Hell, the CSI team will even pack up their guns and go arrest the guy!

Why it's Bullshit:

First, do you have any idea how much random DNA you are carrying on the soles of your shoes this very instant? A hair from that bank clerk across town, gum from a Pakistani cab driver and semen from an undetermined source are all probably crawling around down there, ready to be tracked through a crime scene.

Also, certain laboratory tests such as DNA samples, toxicology and blood reports can take weeks or even months to process, and when they do finally arrive, they are about as clear cut as the plot to The Phantom Menace.

Also, while DNA criminal databases do exist, less than 1/10th of all criminals are a part of it. Having a bit of DNA doesn't mean shit unless they have something to compare it to.

That means the CSI stuff is less about finding the killer and more about making sure they have enough evidence to convict the guy they've already pinpointed as a suspect through old-fashioned police work.

CSI is really just another victim of bad Hollywood science, kind of an extension of their "computers are magic" philosophy. It's appealing to think that any problem--even crime--can be stopped cold by nothing but the power of science and human intellect. Add a few dead hookers and an exploding car to the mix and you have the recipe for television success, baby.

Most of my coworkers have watched CSI at some time or another. We have gotten some good laughs about how inaccurate EVERYTHING in the lab is portrayed. Who works in a lab where you can barely see what you are doing for one thing...We have darkrooms for the few things that need low levels of ligh...:eyes:

I see lots of ads on TV with folks in lab coats saying they are doctors or scientists. They wouldn't lie would they?

and pretty colors. Those are the most artistic databases I have ever seen - I wonder how many Cray IIs are necessary to process all that crap.

And yes, I am just fantasizing, because I could never be a CSI person: I don't have nearly enough chin cartilage and perfect beard stubble.

mikey_the_rat

the ability to whip them off in a psuedo-dramatic fashion.

I wish there was an episode where he whipped off his shades and poked himself in the eye in the process.

mikey_the_rat

She HATES the CSI shows. Even with the national fingerprint database it can take a lot of time to get a hit on fingerprints found at a crime scene. One of her biggest problems is when they use fewer points of comparison than is normally allowed to make a case.

I don't remember the figures she told me, but the number of matching points between found prints and filed prints is generally much higher than shown on TV. And once those are matches, there must be careful examination by a human expert before that match can be used to make a case good enough to arrest someone.

AND one print is not enough to make a case - there must be more evidence to charge someone with a crime.

The 5th protects against SELF incrimination, not incrimination of someone else. If a person has information about the location or activities of a suspect, there is no 5th Am. right to conceal it from police. And lying to cops by saying you don't know when you do is a crime in itself.

It's so :rofl:

at least the last few jury selection procedures I have been on, the judge has to go through several minutes explaining how those shows on the teevee are bullshit.

when Miami was hit by a tsunami. It's just not a feasible scenario and oh yeah, the wave was 20 stories tall. That simply could not happen