help wanted

posting kind of as a joke, but you never know - might be interesting to learn a new skill (I suspect this is one of those jobs immigrants have "stolen" from citizens - that is sarcasm, BTW)

MULTIPLE (10) FULLTIME SEASONAL/TEMPORARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE AS EXPERIENCED
SHEEP SHEARERS FOR SHEARING COMPANY IN MONTROSE, CO.
DUTIES:
1. Place sheep in shearing station or shear loose (will be given opportunity
to learn to shear loose).
2. Shear sheep using power driven clippers, clipping wool close to skin to
avoid double cuts.
3. May help move sheep in/out of shearing area.
4. Tie fleece.
5. Clean and oil hand pieces and sharpen combs and cutters.
6. Other duties as assigned.
SKILLS:
1. Sufficient experience to shear 96 - 125 ewes per day using power driven
clippers (after a 5-day break-in period).
2. Applicants with hand shearing experience that can shear at least 70 ewes
per day will be given opportunity to adapt.
3. Will be given the opportunity to learn to shear loose, place animal in
shearing station, clip wool close to skin to avoid double cuts.
OTHER REQUIREMENTS:
1. Be at least 18 years old for legal requirements.
2. Must be able to pass a criminal background check and not have any felony
criminal convictions, per H2A rules and regs.
3. Be willing and able to work in all types of Colorado weather including
wind, dust, snow, cold, rain, sun, heat, etc.
4. Be willing to shear without tying animal's feet when required by wool
PAY/PAY FREQUENCY:
$1.75/head for lambs, $2.50/head for ewes and $4.50/head for rams (guaranteed
$8.64 per hour - current Adverse Effect Wage Rate (NOTE: If a higher or lower
minimum wage standard applicable to the employment covered by this job order is
promulgated during the period of employment covered by this job order, the
higher, or, at the discretion of the employer, lower, wage standard will apply
to employment beginning on the effective date of any such new wage standard);
paid weekly.
SHIFTS:
Vary, depending on needs and expectations of wool grower.
JOB SITE:
Various throughout the Western Region of Colorado.
BENEFITS:
Housing at local motels with kitchenettes and restrooms are provided at no cost
JOB STARTS:
February 25, 2010.
DURATION:
Temporary/seasonal - February 25, 2010 to June 10, 2010.
APPLY:
Call employer for interview at (970)640-6731. Position closes end of business,
Friday, March 27, 2010.
***No Referrals Beyond Commuting Distance***

Couldn't imagine doing it,
even when I was young.

One -

The Montrose are is absolutely beautiful. One of the most preferred areas of the state for me. It's on the way to everywhere. You just can't drive down a bad road out there. It's away from the interstates and a real paradise in so many ways.

Two -

Shearing sheep sucks. I did it as a favor to a family in New Zealand. Sheep are really kind of fucked up. They see imaginary dangers, and they don't seem all that healthy to be around. The lanolin does make your skin feel nice though.

But sheep are way too damn dumb to be around. They actually make cattle seem a bit intellectual.

I know it sounds baaaaaad. But I'm not kidding.