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female friends: if you're going to cheat on your husband, can you please not tell me?

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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:24 PM
Original message
female friends: if you're going to cheat on your husband, can you please not tell me?
Seriously. I just found out that a friend I've known for a long time has been having an affair. A hot, passionate, falling in love and getting angry because he now has a girlfriend type of affair. I like her husband, he's a good guy and I consider him a friend. Now I know a horrible secret that is none of my business and it pisses me off.

So now I'm in that ridiculous position where I want him to know, but I don't want to tell him. I'll end up not saying anything, but I'll feel like a douche because that's the kind of thing douches do. Thanks female "friend"! Ass.
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. agreed.
Edited on Sun Feb-28-10 06:25 PM by unpossibles
secrets like that make it hard to be a true friend.

EDIT:
this goes for men too. I don't want to hear anyone brag about being an asshole.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. So does your friend need a new affair partner?
Is she hot?
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. nope. Now he's just cheating on his new girlfriend with her.
Maybe I should introduce the new girlfriend to the husband and they can swap honestly and not tell me about it.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
4. Can I tell you when I put the moves on my wife?
Just trying to establish the boundaries.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:35 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. yes, but please stop sending me the video tapes
The first three were fun, but now they're distracting me too much and I can't get any work done.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Well, if streaming video is more convenient for you, I'll see what I can do.
Edited on Sun Feb-28-10 06:37 PM by Orrex
And then you'll see what I can do.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. You are a trooper Orrex
Streaming vid would indeed make my life much easier. :D
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Tikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
7. I NEVER want to know your story of your
infidelity. Guess what...it was the center of my parents divorce and it sucked for
a little kid.


Tikki
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
8. Hey, half the fun of it is bragging rights. Besides, does it not
occur to you that maybe she WANTS him to know?
dc
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MattBaggins Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
9. She wants you to tell
I would bet my last dollar she, even if it's only subconsciously; wants you to do her dirty work for her and tell.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 07:46 PM
Response to Original message
10. There's only one way out.
Cut off the relationship with both the female friend and her husband.

Sorry but it's the only way to get out of this position and save your own ass, coz he's gonna be pissed when he finds out you knew, and you know he'll find out. Don't let her drag you into her catastrophe in the making.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. That's the only conclusion I can come up with too
It sucks, but it is what it is I guess.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
11. i would be so , really mad at a friend if they didnt tell me. BUT i understand
there are people that dont want to know. i didnt know there were people that didnt want to know. but there was a poll on du, and there were quite a few that didnt want to know.

you could tell your friend there was a poll on du and you were surprised. so would you want a friend to tell ya, or not.... lol
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. what kills me is that she not only told me, but introduced him to me last night
and now I have a lot of "in hindsight I should have..." thoughts that are driving me up the wall today.

If it were me, I would want to know but I understand how it would be difficult for a friend to tell me. I don't want to just assume that the husband would want to know in this scenario though just because that's how I would feel. Hell, maybe he does know but hasn't confronted my friend about it.

All I know is that my friend is an idiot. I wasn't the only one there last night who knows her husband. It's only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. people cheating get cocky and stupid. it is like they want some kind of validation
to assauge their guilt.

idiot for sure.

but i sure would be pissed she put me in that position
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. I would give her a deadline to tell her husband ...
and then I would tell him myself.

She is being dishonest and unfair to her husband, and expecting you to be dishonest, too. She is making you an accessory to the crime, based on your friendship.
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cbdo2007 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
12. Should be easy to "accidentally" get the word out there on Facebook for something....
I hope I never know any of my friends are having affairs. Unfortunately (or fortunately maybe?) I don't have enough loyalty to any of them to allow them to get away with it.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-28-10 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
17. Yup. I was with a friend as her marriage fell apart partially because of another woman. I've never
been able to stand cheaters since. Marriage infidelity is sooo painful.
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