Mary Carey for Governor - and you thought Arnold was interesting:

Actually, I'm amazed more DUers aren't jumping on the Mary Carey bangwagon. I was reading some of the statements from the 247 candidates running for governor and some of them are just to out there !

http://marycareyforgovernor.com/

My Gubernatorial Platform

The most important issue facing California right now is our $38 billion deficit and 6.7% unemployment rate. California needs a governor who will get our finances in order! As a “political outsider,” I have fresh, original ideas for helping the state generate revenue and reduce its deficit. Here are just some of them:

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

2. Tax breast implants. From Beverly Hills alone, we should bring in millions in tax revenue. (Note: I am all-natural and I personally discourage the use of implants!)

3. Make lap dances a tax deductible business expense. This will help grease the wheels of business in California and stimulate our economy.

4. If I’m elected Governor, I will wire the Governor’s Mansion with live web cams in every room. We will create a pay site, and all money collected will go toward reducing the deficit. (note from Lynne - this is a porn star who wants to wire the governor mansion and sell it on pay-per-view. Their deficit will be gone in 2 weeks). Californians will get to see their government in action - literally! (Also, we will have people from around the globe helping to pay off our debt, so it doesn’t all fall on the shoulders of Californians.)

5. I will create a “Porn for Pistols” program to take handguns off the streets. Dealing with the violence and injuries associated with handguns is a huge drain on our state's resources.

6. As Governor, I will recruit fellow performers from the adult video industry as ambassadors of good will. These ambassadors will be a great help to California when it comes to such things as negotiating rates for buying electricity from neighboring states.

7. I will coordinate the state’s unemployment and jury systems, so that anyone who applies for unemployment will instantly be called for jury duty. This will save California state and local governments millions of dollars, because we won’t have to pay for jury duty. It will also relieve those with jobs from the stress of serving on lengthy juries.

8. I will fight the federal government's attempts to harass the adult video industry. Adult video is an $11 billion industry that creates more than $23 million in taxes each year for the state of California. We can't afford to lose this tax base!

of course, her platform makes way too much sense, so she doesn't have a prayer of being elected :(

And they're all-natural.

I'm convinced.

And, yeah, her ideas probably would turn the economy around. Wonder how I can get myself invited to the mansion?....

And yeah, I'd fucking pay to see that. The deficit would simply be nonexistent within weeks.

How do you stop violence in the cities? Put something other than a gun into people's hands. Yeah, I meant penises. It's a good idea. How can you be angry when you've got an armload full of porn?

It's a simple concept, really.

(In my best Clinton voice)

I like the way you think!

oh, never mind! Just too easy sometimes...

I could swear the the whole thing is a publicity stunt to make the US look more democratic.

we can have Larry Flynt in a seat of power within her administration. Imagine...

Love her flags, but her site doesn't have the freebies.

I know it isn't Mary Carey

http://freebush.org/marmarcookno.html

I feel so lied to.

I'll send matcom over

She better get to it!

I mean for $3,500 I would think they would give you the Pay-Per-View of the Governor Mansion for free if she wins!

...I bet I can STAR in the pay-per-view from the Governor's mansion.

Sounds sinister, but not pornish enough!

http://members.tripod.com/~Carter_Phillips/name.html (pop-up warning :eyes: )

Sounds like I'm a steadfast virgin of 45

...hint: keep hitting the "generate" button until you get a name you like. :D

:bounce:

I'm relieved to hear it's just a porn star!

:D

like coordinating unemployment with jury duty, taxing implants, and porn for guns. and she could definitely eliminate the deficit with her porn-cam :D wasn't a porn star elected for some office in italy?
:evilgrin:

Hey! At least Mary's GOT a plan she's willing to discuss. Where's Arnold's?

:shrug: isn't that what "actors" do? god knows californians should be sick of bad actors pretending to be politicians. just look at what happened when they voted that other actor in as governor :eyes:

What?!?! She's freaking Governor of California, thankyouverymuch!

:scared:

...at least I hope not. :scared:

Someone needs to tell her we don't have a Governor's Mansion in California.

Other than that, she's brillant!

Is there an offical residence for the Governor, or does he or she have to find their own place?

The old offical residence is now a tourist site. Cool old house. But the location is not good for security. The Reagans lived there very briefly.

Since then the GOV has provided their own housing. They tried to build a new offical residence when Gov Brown 2 was in office and I think he vetoed the idea.

Gov Davis in fact lives not far from me. I'm sure he was an apt in Sacto.

I'm sure she can find a place that's already pre-wired and call that home!

:bounce:

That would be even more funny if it were just a typo. Paging Dr. Freud...