What would you do? Last Friday at 2:00 AM my friend in Vancouver, BC was awakened by loud talking

and laughing in his driveway. Upon checking he discovered that the noise was in fact coming from the open window of his 26 year old son Tyler's basement bedroom. Looking in the window my friend saw that his son was on his bed nude with two completely naked women smoking a joint. Tyler who aspires to be a professional extreme sports athlete is a part time waiter at the local Keg restaurant. He is now in his fifth year of a two year community college certification program. He lives at my friends house rent free and contributes nothing to household expenses. My friend wants to throw him out. My friends wife does not. What would you do?

A twenty six year old got laid. I'm not sure why anybody would do anything about that, as it's pretty much expected. Maybe a high five and a beer later for the two chicks at once part...

LOL-- yeah, that was pretty much my response, too. In other news.... :rofl:

but Tyler was taking the chance of catching a sexually transmitted disease as well as finding himself involved in two unplanned pregnancies. It doesn't sound like any of the three involved was a responsible adult.

it may not be a great thing but it's what your average single human tends to do (if they have the chance).

than their son getting laid is the least of his problems. And there's definitely nothing to suggest that either of the two ladies involved had failed to use birth control. When last I checked, you can't tell by looking.

Adults have sex. Shocking, I know.

Probably he just shared a joint and thought about the good ole days when it still worked.

He's way too old to be sponging off his parents.

Group sex and weed are your business, unless the good times are being paid for with money meant to help you get on your feet and move out. Then, they are also the business of your benefactors.

IMO:

If this guy can't move out because he spends too much time partying, it's probably best in the long run to kick him out. If this is how he acts occasionally when he finds time to go out, I'd say it's normal and not overly dangerous.

2nd, I would start charging room and board, with a 30 day grace period, in the hopes to kick start him. 3rd, I'd tell him to get some freaking blinds.

It's all well and good for him to have his own life and do what he's going to do but there are limitations. First - no drugs in the house!!! No!! Then the two girls - well - kudos to him BUT he needs to be respectful of his folks and learn to keep the noise down!

My 20 y.o has been paying rent for almost two years. Not a lot, mind you, but something. Now we can live in a two bedroom instead of a one bedroom like we were. This 26 y.o. should be contributing to his household, period.

For me, and this is just me mind you, the weed and the "second" naked girl would not be acceptable. Neither would it be acceptable to be making so much noise, thereby disrespecting me and the neighbors. If my boys still live with me when they are older, I don't think I would throw one of them out over this, but I would make sure they realized they couldn't stay and continue to act like this.

he needs to keep the noise down as to not wake me up.

Overall, I think a serious discussion about his future is in order but I don't think I'd kick him out over this.

He's just living where he always has and feels entitled to live there the way he sees fit because it's his home. The parents can either let him continue to live as he chooses or face him like an adult and explain what's acceptable behavior as a guest in their home, because that's what a wage-earning adult who isn't contributing to expenses is -- a guest. If he wants to set the rules for his own space he can negotiate that as part of his rent negotiation.

he seriously "needs" his own place and his parents need him out on his own.

Coddling Tyler has kept him a 14 yr old.

Surely Tyler has friends who will eagerly support him:rofl:

Whoda thunk!

And if I go to jail over his pot I'm gonna kick his ass worse than he ever imagined it could be.

People smoke pot openly on the street there, so I doubt there's much risk of that.

In general I agree though. Risky behavior is one thing, but behavior that puts others at risk unknowingly is pretty dammed selfish.

I think I might love Vancouver. Except for the Sedin Brothers, of course. They're the devil.

I would be a bit worried about these "guests" helping themselves to items from the house, if there is access. That would be my first worry. Next would be the neighbor calling the cops regarding the noisy pot party.

And is it possible the young man is being paid for sex?

The young man is putting family members in jeopardy.

But man, 26 and living rent free? THAT needs to change.

He is old enough, and he needs to learn some responsibility. And I'd also tell him to keep the noise down to a minimum after certain hours.

I really don't think I'd care about the sex part. I think it would leave a terrible image in my mind (if its my kid), but he is 26.

That's what I would do, anyway.

I don't see an issue with the women and pot part, except maybe that he was being loud in the middle of the night, but no one over 25 should be living with their parents rent free.

i like munny. and sex.

Waking his parents at 2 AM in the morning?
He is obviously in need of a dose of reality. Throwing him out is one way to give it to him. At 26, he should be able to handle the real world.

but, if he's 26 and working, he should be paying rent.

And, if I ever caught him with pot in my place again, I'd call the cops on him myself. I have no tolerance for that. If and adult makes that choice, it's their business (and I'm not really big on making pot illegal), but the second it's in my house, BIG problem.

You know, in fact, if he was my kid, he'd know pot was unacceptable. I'd probably throw his ass out for that.

The women, well, it's his life, but sounds like he's on his way to interesting STDs or unintended dependents. And no way in hell I'd accept paying a penny on either of those. His problem.

And being loud enough to wake me - hell, if he managed that, the cops'd be there by the time I was. I sleep like the dead. Nothing wakes me up aside from a phone or an alarm.

And 5th year of a 2 year program? I wouldn't fund that. After the 2nd year, he'd be paying that on his own.

Just for the record, I lived with my parents (aside from college) until I was 25. However, when I had a job and was making money, I paid rent. $300 a month.

I don't think a joint is a call the cops thing in BC. My native Canadian wife says if they called the cops, the RCMP would probably pick up some timbits and come and join him. Long as he's not trying to smoke a pound in one go or something of that nature.

It's legal, dude.

Granted he does need to get a job and contribute to the household, and learn to be more careful and respectful of his parents, but he wasn't breaking the law.

I'd talk to him about privacy and noise. Then I'd talk to him about paying some rent. Lastly I'd talk to him about using condoms every time no matter what.

I wouldn't kick him out over this, no way.

He's a young man, having fun. God forbid.

Hell I'm not single and I'm not the kind of person who gets a lot of offers of 2 girl one guy action either but unless they were underage or something the only thing he did wrong was fail to be discreet and quiet. Sure, yell at the guy and tell him to take his girls and weed elsewhere, but it would be silly to throw your own son out of your house on the basis of that.

i honestly don't know and it might well be relevant. community college certification program? what is that? i didn't realise it was something important since i'm not american and don't really know what it means, i just assumed it was teacher training or such

i guess that's a bit of context

which is why pretty much nobody graduates from public colleges on time around here. :shrug:

Or a real security camera, if you can afford it.

Aspirations to extreme sports my ass.

The dude's a lazy piece of shit.

It's time that the jackass learns some responsibility.

:hi:

:rofl:

And I'd tell him he'd better not wake me up again.

And tell him to move in with me!

:D

once here there's the subway.

Even with written instructions, he wouldn't make it on his own.

I was kidding anyway. Although maybe he does need to be pushed out of the nest a little.

As for what to do about rent, freeloading, and the usual questions that come with basement-dwelling offspring, I'd leave that to the parent to decide. My own kids have been told they are moving out or paying rent the moment they cease to progress towards a career degree or they turn 21, whichever comes first. I have no belief whatsoever that I will stick to that, but they will get some serious nagging, at the very least.

I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight...

over whether it's time for the son to move out or pay rent and abide by family rules relating to
noise and hours. Give him the choice and make him do it. If he wants to pay rent
and doesn't, then throw him out. If he disturbs the peace at 2 a.m., throw him out.

I'd tell him to cough up some money or get the fuck out.

kids having a little fun doesn't bother me, but if he is working and not getting school finished up he needs to pay some rent/other bills.

Of course at 2 am on friday nights I'm still up partying myself so I would do nothing or, more likely, not even know about it.

But he obviously needs to learn some discretion. And since he does have a job, you'd think he could spare a little of his paycheck for groceries/utilities/whatever.

And on a side note, considering all the awful things in this world, I find it amusing how some people can generate so much outrage over a twentysomething slacker who, at worst, just needs to grow up a little. There are *far* more pressing issues to get upset over.

but that at age 26 he is in his fifth year of a two-year program - especially if I'm the one paying for it - would. It's time for a serious sit-down with sonnyboy.

She's either a good mom, or he sells weed to his mom :)