If your company had one of those walking on hot coals team building events, would you participate?

Funny how it's always "You're part of a team" when they want something from you but when you need something, then suddenly you are a team of ONE in my experience4.

When the risks are all shouldered by the workers and the rewards only go to the elite, you don't have a team.

My company is about to embark on some stupid team-building thing. I'd love to call in sick, but that just may look a bit suspicious.

The manager of my department decided that as a team-building exercise, we would all go out into the local community, posing as homeless panhandlers. The money collected would be thrown into the kitty for some kind of party at our next offsite gathering.

I skipped the "event." I caught hell for it. But wrong is wrong, you know? Cisco was one of the worst experiences in my entire professional career.

And no one besides you objected? This truly shocks me.

The woman who planned this was one of the most wretched human beings I've ever encountered. The guy who previously managed my department, who I "thought" I could speak to in confidence, was basically a tape recorder from my mouth to her ear.

She once said to me "I'm not the person you think I am," and since I shared those thoughts with only one other person, I pretty much added 2 + 2 and came up with four.

No one else objected. Everyone went along and had fun pretending to be homeless for a day.

We called it "Basic Training".

After that, being a team member was a given.

Other things, yes, but not that.

That shit sucked

I got out of about two weeks worth of all the physical part because they had me up in the security building trying to convince me I should be a "Nuclear Weapons specialist" and I was trying to convince them I didn't want any part of that. My idjit test scores put me in the top 1/10 of 1% and they wanted me for this so bad they were even willing to overlook the fact that I had done LSD.

had a team building activity. It involved all sorts of physical activity. Outdoors. In August. In Miami.

It was kind of like walking on coals, only more like wallowing in hot coals.

Then we got a pay cut.

Where did these people come from and why do they have full-time jobs? Is it *that* hard to hire and fire people? Isn't it just fundamentally disrespectful to "outsource" all the difficult conversations about salary and lay-offs?

In my last job, HR asked us to write job descriptions for the people we wanted to hire (because they didn't have the expertise in our disciplines, apparently), then they asked us to find appropriate websites to post them on, then they asked us to create an interview template and screening questions, then we performed the interviews, then we decided if we wanted to hire the person or not. All HR did was call to set up the appointment time and, honestly, the secretary could have done that.

But at least they had lots of free time to dream up pointless "team-building" events like karaoke night and ping-pong.

The other day I applied for a job online... forty minutes to fill in their custom application form (since HR people are too busy and important to read CVs *or* cover letters) and then another hour to take a personality and literacy test... so about two hours applying for a minimum wage, part-time warehouse job. And literally five minutes after I hit submit, I got a form e-mail telling me the position had already been filled.

Absolutely *no* respect for your time or energy, but you're supposed to grovel and suck up to them, and actually, honestly, it is kind of impressive to be able to spin a job for yourself out of whole cloth and continue to justify your salary while getting all the other people in the company to keep on doing exactly the same recruiting and interviewing work they were doing before.

I thought I read something about a walking on hot coeds team building event.

And there are many things I can think of to do with hot coeds, but none of them involve walking on them or teams.

The company I work for is very small. There are fewer than 20 people in all, including the owner. And while the people I work with are decent, likable people, the owner of the company is quite an asshole. I've been trying to get a raise out of him for almost two years now, and he won't sit down and talk to me. In a year and eight months, he can't find five minutes for me. I work full time but I'm classified as part time; this enables him to employ me without paying me for holidays or vacations or sick days. I could report him to the authorities, but in a company this small it won't take much for him to find out who talked, and at worst case he could just cut everyone's hours to 25 a week and hire the additional people it takes to get the work done. In short, the man's a bastard of the first degree. I need the job else I'd be somewhere actually receiving benefits like healthcare for my diabetic wife.

So, the answer to the question is no. And if I did work for a larger company, I'd probably make the decision based on my anticipated workload. If business isn't that heavy I'd go; it's a good opportunity to network with people. Even if the purpose of the event itself is a waste of time.

7 AM. Walk across hot coals to pick up coffee and donut breakfast
10 AM. Jab sharp stick at own eyes during morning coffee and mini-cupcake snack break
1 PM. Swim across shark-invested pool for wiener lunch
4 PM. Play Russian roulette during afternoon coffee and mini-cupcake snack break
7 PM. Fun with dynamite during wiener dinner

but three "U's" in "Shut the fuck up"

In other words, Hell, no.

in the early 1980s. I'm afraid I blew the whole concept up when we (the various managers) were supposed to take turns, telling everyone our name and our history, starting with childhood...and so on. Supposed to help us bond and all that crap.

When it got to my turn, I said, "Everyone here knows my name, so I don't have to remind them of it. And everyone here knows exactly as much as I WANT them to know about me, and that's the way it's going to stay. And I'm going home now, because I have better things to do."

I guess it was because I was running the company pretty well that the owner didn't fire me for saying that. And he never got suckered into paying some charlatan any more "team building" bullshit thereafter.

Redstone

I would fall in the coals and get some third degree burns and sue my company for $50M. Any chance your company gives you to injure yourself, you take it!


Your company required you to walk through fire? That's outrageous, egregious, preposterous...

I wouldn't go to such a retreat, feet to the fire, although mostly a metaphor, was an actual form of torture used.

I don't agree with torture.


Although maybe it has to do with solving problems of people having cold feet.

Not sure what that whole thing is about.


I really like the wedding in this trailer. Funny it is.

ZombieLand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-cIjPOJdFM


AC/DC - Thunderstruck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w

1) I am not a team player. I have never played well with others, hate working with others, and would never be in a situation where I had to be a "good team member'

2) I tried walking on hot coals when I was a kid, still have the scars physically and psychically from the burns. There is no way I would ever be able to do it - I would be traumatized if someone tried to force me to try it. If it were a condition for continued employment, I would make them fire me.

Screw the team-building crap, though. I'd laugh when others got burned.

Lets have a talk about the scientific basis of my being burned or not. If you can publicly satisfy me that it is a safe activity, then we will see after that talk if anyone else involved still feels that there is some spiritual team building aspect to participating in the activity. And then I can decide whether I care to participate or not.

Having discussions about things like that on paid company time is all right with me.