How absolutely hilarious (and whining) some men can be!

A close friend of mine, turned 59 this year, and has begun to feel the full "older" person set of problems. He apparently has arthritis in his feet and knees, and is babying himself totally because of it.

I've suffered through more than arthritis, including two heart attacks, fibromyalgia, and a long list of other, highly painful problems, and while I have tried to keep my complaining to a minimum, I still have a great deal of pain chronically.

So when my friend limps around and babies himself, I am highly amused, as he has frequently made the comment (in some roundabout way) that I am complaining. I guess I'm not exactly being sympathetic to him, because he's managed to escape from too many "painful" situations through his life. He even refuses to donate blood because of it!

Anyone else have someone in their life who blows their "pain" out of proportion to the actual problem? Or should I be more patient with his ills and problems?

not everyone handles pain the same. i for one am a major league, grade-a, big baby when i am in pain, and my family and friends know it.

i'm much easier to deal with when i am sick, i tend to sleep a lot...

Not everyone has the same tolerence levels for pain. Everyone is different. I've had random nerve pain all over my body since I was 12 and had a case of Shingles. Sometimes it feels like live wires against my skin. I just deal with it. Stub my toe, cut my finger, etc? I'm a total wimp, especially if I see blood. My point is you build up tolerance to pain levels, and it may be that in time it gets easier for your friend. I wouldn't wish suffering on anyone.

finding some amusement with his situation. But it's very hard to find some empathy for aomeone whose tolerance for pain is so low, when I've done so much suffering through the years. This is a guy who essentially made me try to climb Mount Washington just days after I had the flu. This is a guy who goes on walks with me, and essentially goes way ahead of me and then taunts me to keep up with him. Perhaps I'm just at a point where his complaining makes me roll my eyes at the circumstances, and feel vindicated that he's the one who has to slow down, for once.

But I think it still needs to be said--if men had to have the babies, there would be a lot less babies born, and a lot more attention to contraceptives. KWIM?

And if men had *evolved* to have the babies, then I suspect that women would be enacting laws to control them.


So the guy's an insensitive jerk. Why are you friends with him, again?

and currently my only help with getting places? I don't spend a whole lot of time with him otherwise--we've begun to have very disparate tastes. He is interested mostly with being a cameraperson for some really low budget films, and my tastes have turned back to my photography and writing.

When I get my van back on the road though, I'll spend even less time with him.

who haven't ever experienced a lot of pain don't know how to handle it.

I can state that I have known of men who, if they get a slight cut, it's a GASH!! OH MY GOD!

And in spite of Orrex's comment, it CAN be hard to keep a straight face when someone panics over a small bump or bruise or cut. Large scale pain, however, is a different thing and can be hard to quantify.

What hurts one person doesn't necessarily hurt another. I've been through quite a bit pain-wise in my life but my threshold has lowered. I used to brush off pain that now is unbearable to me. It's not about mental toughness. Just how the brain perceives the stimuli. Give the guy a break. It's not a competition. It's just life in our complicated bodies.

P.S. I hope you're doing well with the problems you've had. :hi:

I have begun to go to the Y and do some swimming. It helps out, because it's easier to do exercise underwater when you don't have to worry about your back aching so much.

I've been heart-trouble-free now since the end of 1999: after three angioplasties, that's good news. But walking has been difficult for awhile now, partly because of the weakness there, and the diabetic neuropathy. So it goes, though--so it goes.

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...I wonder how you would have responded to a headline that a man had posted
that said,"How absolutely hilarious (and whining) some women can be!"?
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Or a statement like, "If it were WOMEN faced a military draft in wartime,
you can BET there'd be a lot more "accidental" pregnancies happening."
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Just wonderin'.
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And damn him!!! Damn him for managing to escape from too many "painful" situations
in his life. Damn him for his relative freedom from pain.
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Things like this confuse me... make me sleepy. ESPECIALLY in a forum like this one.
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I don't feel much like playing anymore tonight.
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Goodnight.
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i handle it so poorly. but i am way more empathetic to their pain than they are to their own pain.

silly op

i never got that, IF men had babies stuff. if men had babies, they would suck it up the same as women. then there would be men like me, who was damn sure they had the drugs, while birthin cause they refuse to do pain.