People just use and abuse me and I am getting pretty sick of it.

I feel like the can in Kick the Can. My life pretty much sucks and has no meaning. What is the point anyway? No one on this planet cares whether I live or die. They are only interested in what I can do for them. I try to be a good person but really inside I know that all I am is just a can. An empty can for people to kick around. That is my purpose on this planet. This is what I have learned.

Of course there's meaning in your life, it's what you make it and I guarantee you there are people who care whether you live or die, in fact I care and I'm sure many others on this site do.

You have value, you really do.

I hope I don't abuse you, sweetie...

:hug:

Well, actually I can, but I don't want this thread to get shut down.

we'd need more players. Two cans need kickers... x(

I feel your sentiment. I AM that sentiment.

I hope it passes for both of us soon.

:hug:

EDIT: spelin'

I mean, that you seem to run into one user after another.

BTDT. :hi:

I care and don't want anything from you but your continued presence here!

Feel better!

We have known each other online for quite sometime. And I know this about you...you have a good heart.

I believe that you are the type of person who would put herself above others, even if it meant sacrificing yourself in some way.

The problem arises when YOU need help, and people don't always give it freely, or we are afraid to ask for it, and at that point it becomes MADDENING.

I know exactly what you are talking about in your OP.

If I can be of any help to you, let me know. :hug:

...to help you get a new perspective on your life and relationships.

We all get kicked around at various times throughout our lives but our character is developed and displayed by how we turn around that situation and then move on. We've all been there and sh*t we'll all probably be there again, but you'll get past it. Hang in there. You'll be feeling like a Friday afternoon in no time :)

I think I'll eat some worms!
Short fat squishy ones,
Long thin slimy ones,
Chewy, Gooey, Icky, Ooey Worms!


Why don't you try doing something that makes YOU happy?

:hi:

and you kick dirt on 'em.

lol

interesting choices.

instead of hoping that others will return
her favors.

i am sorry you are feeling the way you do.

it ended when I quit associating with abusive people. I even physically moved to another part of the state. I hope you have luck getting back on your feet.

and those who paint you as a victim. Even when they appear to be supportive and sympathetic, that framing itself can be poisonous. You are not helpless, you are not a child, and you have choices.

Good luck finding your power again.

You were one of my original DU friends and Nighthawks. I love you. :hug:

you probably should find someone to talk to.

I don't know you, but have enjoyed "talking" with you here at DU. By the number of replies, I'm guessing you have a lot of people who do care about you IRL, too.

No advice--- but I hope you feel better by the time you read this. :hug: :grouphug: :pals:

anymore. That's going to suck for the "kickers," but I don't care about them at this point.

and by that I mean you are placing them above you. Ordinarily that sounds charitable but you see that sense of charity is not returned.

Worse still, your valuing other people over yourself has you questioning the purpose of your own existence.

YOUR existence has value, intrinsically. It is not defined by how much people can use you or even how much they do or do not appreciate you.

You be you, first, foremost and always. Once you have established your own value you can be valuable to others.

are you a good person, Tuesday?

:) :)

Wanna go to the movies?

:pals:

:grouphug:

at some point, like we aren't appreciated. It's important to do something to change
that feeling, though. You may need to find someone you can talk to about it...on a regular,
ongoing basis. It may be that feeling is just the starting point for you to change something
in your life--a relationship, where you live, where you work, what you do to really express who you are...please, look into finding a counselor. If you are spiritual, start with a spiritual counselor
(pastor, rabbi, etc). If you aren't, call a mental health helpline in your community and ask for a referral. Or call your primary physician and ask for a referral.

You have the ability to change your life--maybe not how people try to use/abuse you, but you may
be able to limit that and find ways to bring joy into your life.

:hug:

It will go away.

I give you something pretty to make you smile.

It's hard to see that sometimes. I know, I've been there, and it's hard to see a way out when you're in that place. Please find someone to help, they are out there and will help. People care, trust them and you'll see.

Please take care. Please.

I could write this most days too. I am quite alone, no family close to me, just two friends in the world and both far away. I know how you feel. You will have to learn to say no, and if the people who use you turn from you, that is ok. They are nothing to you if that is how it goes. I used to try to buy friends by being the can, but I have learned to appreciate myself if others don't. Huge hug!!!!

You Know I Truly Care About You!

What happened to the wonderful strong woman I shared a hot tub with?





:loveya: :hug:

to take the words of a truly crazy person
You don't have to agree, just stop being accommodating or ask for something in return

What is up?

I'm out of town for work, but pm me back OK?

:hug:

Sorry if it sounds so cynical, but it improved my life a ton to just finally admit that. Bad people aren't worth an ounce of energy.

:woohoo:

Most people aren't very thoughtful or sensitive to others. It's sad.

I look around me sometimes and I think, where are all the nice, decent people?
I run into too many people with hidden agendas, are cruel, mean, and yes, don't have a lot of class. And class is not something you buy....

off my little soapbox.... :)

it's a feeling I have pretty much every day. Why I still exist is a question I can't answer. I know I'm not of value to pretty much anybody anymore. If I didn't have the dog to rely on me, that'd be it for me....

We do not know why we exist, or why we keep going, but all we can do is continue the path and hope we find pleasures occasionally. Please, re-read all the messages here for inspiration---that is just what I was doing when I ran across your post. I was feeling like the can too, so figured this advise could go to any of us.

Hugs.

The point is that you have to create a meaning. There is no inherent meaning to life.

You have to find what to live for.

Try concentration camp surviving author, Vickor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". It's not light reading, but it may offer some insight.

:loveya: :hug:

The important thing is to find what you really are here for. And that is the thing you most enjoy when you are in your own company. Fuck other people. They cannot be your first priority. What do YOU value most? Enjoy most? Are most skilled at? Find that, pursue that, devote yourself to that, and most likely, other people who value that same thing will be drawn to you. Even if not, if you pursue your own passion, you won't regret doing that on your deathbed.

When you feel better, you realize those thoughts don't make any sense. It's hard, but find people who aren't complete jerks. Don't let people get you down, because there's no point to it.

You would be surprised how many people care about you. Live for the next day that can be better.

:yourock:

by the way, can I borrow a bottle of cold medicine?

character helps a great amount. You learn that certain people are toxic to you and you end up not scapegoated.

and that the edge slices open the toes of the nitwits who kick it.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

However, there could be less drastic and less hazardous solutions. Start here

Yes, the ideas at the linked website are obvious, but sometimes we approach what is very familiar by creating special exemptions from obvious rules. The resulting problems, although they may eventually seem intractable, can sometimes be solved by focusing on the obvious while maintaining a systematic and patient approach.

However, don't put too much faith in that particular website. It's just something I found while searching for the exact phrase "identify the problem" along with the word "solving" and either "stages" or "steps."

If none of that makes sense, then try watching this You Tube video ("Wizard from Taxi Driver").