Oh lovely, my crazy brother's gf is pregnant

and I can't help but be upset about it. Here's the story- My brother has always been one of the most unstable people I know, and he's been in and out of jail his whole life. His terrible temper and meanness made my growing up years difficult, and he completely broke my parents' hearts. He was married once before, and he had a daughter, but he abandoned them both, which was probably better for them.

Last summer, I found my brother on Facebook and added him as a friend, and shortly after that his girlfriend. I should have known better. She almost immediately started lecturing me on how my brother is the way he is because apparently there was a family conspiracy to mess him up. None of us ever loved him like he deserved. It made me furious, because she has no idea what it was like growing up with him as a brother, but I was cautious in my replies. Then one day she posted that she was scared because she saw my brother lose his temper in a bar fight, so I wrote her and eventually I warned her that my brother can be dangerous, he's been in jail for domestic violence before, and that she should leave if she doesn't feel safe. So she called me a liar, showed the message to my brother, who really pulled the stops out in calling me names, and we were no longer FB friends.

I was angry, but I tried to get past it because I did try to warn her, and I can't do much else. This spring, she started sending messages to my mom, including the same accusations she had sent to me. Mom wouldn't defend herself, but I was beyond furious that this dim witted woman who had no idea what she was talking about felt like she had the right to send condescending and accusing messages to my mom. So I wrote the girlfriend telling her exactly what I thought of her, and suddenly my mom was no longer her FB friend.

A few days ago, I was looking through my FB sent messages searching for something I had once sent my sister, and I saw the gf's new profile picture, in which she is hugely pregnant and beaming mindlessly. My heart sank. My brother is crazy and he will abandon them eventually, as always, and now there is no chance his family will ever know this child. And the thought of a mix of my crazy brother and his stupid gf is sad. I said this to a friend, and he pointed out that genetics being what they are, there is no way of telling what the child would be like. And then I realized that if they have a smart and sane child, it's still a tragedy because of the parents.

I know it sounds like I have no sympathy for my brother, but I do. I don't think he can help but be destructive and a nightmare to deal with. I don't think he can help himself at all. But the massive, massive unpleasantness that goes with every interaction I have with him makes it hard for me to be totally sympathetic. I wish he could admit his psychological problems and go on medication, but he won't. I am very, very sorry that another child will have to start life as his child.

had to grow up with him and now it's sad that he's bringing another child into the world. Unless someone realizes that they have a problem, medication isn't an option. I mean he's even been in jail for domestic violence and is dangerous. Her self-esteem must be in the toilet.

And to be honest, I think she is just stupid. She believes that love conquers all, and obviously she sees my brother as a bit of a project. She honestly and truly believes she is the first one to love him. This is so unfair I am torn between rage and sadness- lack of love is not my brother's problem.

Hopefully she learns from it and grows up. For many women it's when they have a child. There's nothing like maternal instinct to make you grow up very fast if you're a woman.

It's pretty obvious that your brother is a highly manipulative person who ends up leaving because he can't be the person he pretends to be. That's probably the best of a very lousy possibility of outcomes.

and I hope no one gets physically hurt in the process.

and i have found the women attracted to them have their own problems. like the female version of same.

i love my brother. and i see the mess he is, not to mention the mess he causes in everyones life. i interact mostly thru phone, and it is just occassionally. always when he wants or needs something.

i watched for two decades what it does to the children they have. it isnt a pretty picture.

i swear he is bipolar. have told him to get tested and get drugged. self medicating with booze. emphatically no. he does not want a broing life. likes the highs too much adn even the low, he "feels" life, he says.

i hear what you are saying.

with him or his gf, if all they do is abuse you.

And I see what my brother's actions have done to his daughters and son.

He drank himself to death at 35.

My advice to you is to distance yourself from the whole situation. Nothing good can come of it. You need to keep yourself sane and happy.

Good luck to you. I'm sending good vibes your way.

they create a toxic soup that can poison anyone who gets too close or involved with them.

it's too bad that they so often do it through bringing a child into the world - not fair to the child, and not fair to the rest of the world.

No good solution to the problem, either, which makes it even worse.

he sticks by this woman and their child. You never know, he may be just around the corner from getting the help he needs. You may have to bow out of their lives if they are abusive towards you. I wish all of you and them good luck.