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Damn , most of my colleagues and friends my age are starting to have their first babies

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UndertheOcean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 04:08 PM
Original message
Damn , most of my colleagues and friends my age are starting to have their first babies
Edited on Sun Aug-08-10 04:08 PM by UndertheOcean
That makes me feel awkward. You kinda feel like the odd one in the group.

(I am 32)

Even if I wanted a kid , I feel 32 is too early . Plus I think my DNA will give my progeny a miserable life (Depression , poor body image , some OCD ....)
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Curmudgeoness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
1. Take it from someone who did not want kids, and did not have kids,
do not let this give you a guilt trip. But sadly, it also means that these friends will drift away into their own worlds where you do not fit in. That is the hardest part to live through. And yes, you will be the odd one out. But still not a reason to have a kid if you don't want one.

One the other hand, if you would like to have kids, 32 is not too early at all. In fact, since I was post-meneposal by age 40, changes had to have started around age 35 for me.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. Yes and they have and will have better drugs for OCD and depression. So
don't let that stop you.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 04:15 PM
Response to Original message
2. nah...
Edited on Sun Aug-08-10 04:17 PM by seabeyond
to all the dna stuff.

i have a son with fuzzy brain, totally out there and he is the only one in the family. with that, i would not want him any other way. makes life interesting and an hoot. a higher in all that, if one chooses. can have the perfect child and fuck em up. can have an oddball child and raise him up.

i had my first at 32, second at 36. worked for me. i did a lot of playing before having kids. made settlin down real easy.

a good life

and enjoy the kids so

really are easy, in the scheme of things

AND

if you never have kids, that is cool, too. i could totally see a life without kids. a good life.

choices

wonderful things
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Tobin S. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
3. You're alright man
I'm 37 and don't have any children. I don't plan on it, either. I did try there for a while to settle down and get all domesticated and stuff, but it just didn't work out. But I'm okay with it, plus I can be wild and crazy without having to worry about screwing up anybody. :D
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UndertheOcean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yup ! Not having to worry about screwing up a kid is good !
keep truckin
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. I never wanted kids...people always told me wait till my biological clock kicks in

still waiting..and still don't want any..
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. Don't sweat it
My wife and I didn't have ours until most of our friends were grandparents. I was 42 and she was almost 39 when our daughter was born. :hi:
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gkdmaths Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. This thread inspired me.
I haven't posted here in years and only stop by sporadically. Usually I bail to facebook so I can be even more disenchanted with humanity.

I have to say I was inspired to comment because I am 37, childless by choice and thinking of finally having children.

My former partner of 10 years suffers from significant OCD. If you're clinical, I am sorry, but there are methods to deal with it. None of them are completely successful and I feel for you.

I finally left her (for all the right reasons) and met a woman with whom I enjoy significant parallels in life. Finally I am feeling Dawkins' biological necessity to preserve my genetic material and procreate.

I'll be at least 40 and finishing up my MD/PhD before I have my first child. Big deal...

Lesson: there is ALWAYS opportunity and you never know when it will present itself.

Also, you'll find that you make new friends - other active, childless couples who sail, hike, bbq, travel... Just get out and make those connections.

Peace!
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tandot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
8. I had my first at 45
I was finally ready to try once I hit 40. However, it took us a while to conceive.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-08-10 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
9. That's nothing, this girl I worked with told me she knew someone who had 2 kids by 19.
Me = :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow:
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csziggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 01:41 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. A woman I graduated from high school with was a grandmother
By the time she was 32 and a great-grandmother at 45. I found it hard to believe but I saw the little rug rat.

I just found out that I will be a great aunt - first on my side of the family, though I am already great aunt to three kids on hubby's side. It is so much easier than being a parent. I can spoil the kids rotten, but if they start to get cranky or smelly, I can just hand them back to their parental units.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 02:32 AM
Response to Reply #9
14. Get this, one of my cousins, 30 years old.
Six kids. All under ten. Chaos, man. Chaos.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. OMG!!!!!
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 02:29 AM
Response to Original message
12. They'll soon be jealous of you.
Enjoy what you have (or don't have).
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 02:31 AM
Response to Original message
13. Yep, my friends are starting get married and reproduce too.
I still haven't found Mrs. Proteus yet. Maybe I will someday, maybe I won't. We'll see what the cards hold.

The flip-side is my best friend is probably going to end-up in divorce soon. It sucks. :-(
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
16. most of my colleagues and friends my age are starting to have their first
kids graduating college. :shrug:
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blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 05:17 PM
Response to Original message
17. New parent friends are rough to deal with when you don't have kids
I know I had serious tunnel vision for a good few years after I had mine. I was relatively young and all my friends were still into their careers and partying. I could no longer relate to them but then again, I wasn't much for the suburban, "traditional" family thing. Ultimately I basically lone-wolfed it.

Now, I'm an old lady and my precious baby is all growed up and out of the house. I watch new parents and silently thank god I don't to be like that anymore.
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moksha Donating Member (345 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
18. Soon to be followed by their second baby.
Breeders just can't help themselves.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
19. Do what you want to do, regardless of what anyone else is doing.
If all your friends start having babies, pretty soon those friendships will fade because all they will want to talk about is their kids. And if you don't have kids, listening to conversations about poop and vomit and colic gets really boring really fast.

My biological clock ran out awhile ago, never had kids, never regretted it.
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LibDemAlways Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-09-10 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
20. I had my one and only child when I was 40. She arrived just in time to
help us celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. There is no "right" time to have a child. I am the oldest mom among my daughter's friends, but I'm the one who takes the kids everywhere. Age is relative anyway. There are youthful people in their 50s and 60s and people who seem old in their 30s. Have a child when (and if) you want to. The decision is yours alone and shouldn't be influenced by what anyone else is doing.
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