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Pity Party.....My freshman daughter just left for college.

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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 07:19 AM
Original message
Pity Party.....My freshman daughter just left for college.
Just drove off with her dad....school's a nine hour drive away
and I couldn't take two days off of work to take her.

:cry:

I'll be better by Monday, right?

:cry:
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 07:35 AM
Response to Original message
1. I went into a funk for a few weeks when mine left.
It's hard to be empty nesters at first...then next thing you know, you're making plans to convert her room into an office.:)
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 07:42 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. We are actually getting a replacement exchange student from China.
Two, actually, but one at a time.

She'll be arriving at the beginning of September.

I still have a 15 year old here....but the older one
is a homebody and hangs out with me a lot...going to
democratic party functions, etc...

I'm going to miss her a lot.

:cry:
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
17. My sister has four kids in college this season..
her last one is shipping off to college this sunday. My poor sister has been suffering empty nest syndrome ever since her oldest first went to college.

My BIL already volunteers for big brother, but I suggested to my sister that she adopts an older child who needs a family.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. OMG! I can't imagine four at the same time!
I'm broke just paying for the 1st semester!
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. Yeah, a couple of years ago, my sister and her husband bought a 4 bedroom house
close to campus and turned it into some quasi-dorm for their kids. The kids also all work part-time,so they all manage.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:59 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. Must be like Grand Central Station in there...
Hopefully this one will find part-time work before
my NEXT one is bound for college.

She's 15...but she is telling me that she wants
to go to a community college to save me money.

She's a professional suck-up!
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. LOL!
Sounds like great kids!
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #23
35. that's very smart!


my parents never had 4 in college at once... :wow: Usually 1-2 at a time! :D
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realisticphish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:07 AM
Response to Original message
3. don't worry
I'm SURE she won't be drinking within a few days...
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:15 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. She took a hookah with her.
I hope she stays away from alcohol.

There are less SLOPPY ways to lift your mood. :)
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RandomThoughts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. It would be better for you to say
you hope she decides that is a best coarse action.

Your exact thought is stealing free will, and happens quite often, but opens many doors.


How do you know what is best for her, and how can you make that decision for her?
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:25 AM
Response to Original message
6. Awww.... it only hurts for a little while.
:hug: And there are so many ways to keep in touch now. Just think how exciting it will be for her and how you will enjoy hearing about her new world.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:28 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. She went to India for a year as an exchange student in 11th grade...
so this will be easier to deal with than THAT (I have hope!).

When she left for India I was not myself for almost a MONTH.

At least she's still here in Michigan, but DAMN, she's a LONG
drive away!
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. Absolutely! You have been through worse.
She'll be fine, and so will you! :hug:
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 09:08 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Thank you, Femmocrat...
:hug: back atcha!
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
10. After my parents dropped me off I was blind drunk in three hours
memories...
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 11:27 AM
Response to Reply #10
14. Thanks for that...
:rofl:
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clyrc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
11. good luck on feeling better soon
I was apart from my daughters for 6 weeks earlier this summer, and it was pretty much awful. I missed them like a piece of myself had been amputated. It makes me scared about when they take off on their own, some years in the future.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. I'm resisting the urge to go into her room.
That's when I lost it the last time she went away.

Really, I'm doing pretty good (comparatively)!
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
30. I lose it every time I go into my son's room.
It's a freakin' disaster from all the video gaming he and his friends have been doing all summer. He leaves in 10 days for sophomore year. He loves college and is doing really well. I always feel a little ache when separated from my guys but if they are thriving I am happy. Oldest son left for college 5 years ago and has only ever come home for a few days at a time. He never went into a dorm, apartment living right from the start. His leaving was really hard.
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mnhtnbb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 10:21 AM
Response to Original message
12. I just took my son (3rd year) to the dorms. Even though he goes to school
in town we hardly ever see him.

You'll be better --maybe even sooner than Monday!

:hug:
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. Thanks....I can feel the anxiety aftermath. ...sore muscles.
I'm un-tensing minute by minute.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 11:16 AM
Response to Original message
13. Oh gawd ... I feel for ya!
My oldest is five years away from that but I am dreading it fiercely already. I was a weepy mess after the scene in Toy Story 3 where the mom is saying goodbye to her son in his room before he goes off to college. :cry:

:hug:

Now, I'm sure it will get better, though. That's what they say. :)
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:18 PM
Response to Original message
18. I'm sure you raised a good person
so, you have very little to worry about. You'll be fine.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. She's a nervous nelly type...
1st born.....

She doesn't make friends very easily,
but she does very well in sink or swim
situations.

Too easy to "sink" into the couch when
she's home.

I hope the university life lifts her up!
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
20. You did good - if she is going to college then you did good
Let that warm fuzzy sink in
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Crystal Clarity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
22. Oh....I can SO sympathize
Even though my daughter is now 25, I can still remember how much I missed her in the first few years. And still do actually. She too went off to college about 9 hrs away and is now building her career in NYC. I don't get to see her enough :-(

But it'll get easier over time. Plus, having read some of your other replies, it sounds as if you'll still be busy with the exchange students, ect. which is good. The void is not as bad if you stay busy. Oh and definitely pamper yourself once in awhile!

Plus, w/e-mail, cell phones ect you'll still be able to keep in touch with her. I 'get it' though... adjusting to life transitions such as these can be difficult sometimes. :hug:

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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. I just hope she makes friends and goes to class!
She made friends in India, but blew off school completely...(long story about Indian College that I won't go into...)

She's very picky about friends and she did better
with others when they HAD to rely on each other
to get by...

Here at home it's too easy to lose herself in TV
and the internet.
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Crystal Clarity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. Not to worry. I'm sure she'll adjust just fine.
Sounds as if she's already had some great adventures though. The student exchange program is such a great thing. I once thought of it for my daughter but the logistics of it wouldn't have worked out well at the time.

Your daughter is older now, a presumably more mature then when she was in India. I'm sure college life will be a whole different thing. Try not to worry. It'll all work out. :-)
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Old Troop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
28. I sympathize. Both of my daughters went away to college and it was
tough in each case. After they completed their studies, they returned to live in very close proximity to our home (one owns a house less than half a mile away). The experience made them independent and capable of handling any issue. Provide the support she needs without smothering her growing independence.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. She just called....
unpacked...set up her shelves.

Her room-mate is semi-local (1 1/2 hour drive).
Wild child, pack a day smoker, foster child....

Elle says they're getting along great,
wheeeeeee!
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Ava Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
29. it was hard for my mom when i left last year
i'm even further away from home in alabama, attending school at NYU. it's hard, but skype helps! video chatting is way better than speaking over the phone.

:pals:
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:28 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. Even though she's "in state"....
I'm in Southeastern Michigan, and she's in school in the UP....

I could drive to Memphis in less time!

Our next door neighbor's daughter just arrived at NYU
on Wednesday.

:hi:
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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. AVA! haven't seen you around - how's school going?
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 08:57 PM
Response to Original message
34. aw, hugs for you!


:hug: That's so hard...
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one_voice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-19-10 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
36. This is how pathetic I was when my....
daughter left for college. I cried like a baby. She went to the University of Delaware which was only about a 20 min drive, and I acted like I was never going to see her again. She only lived on campus for 2 years, then back home. She's done now, matter of fact she only has one more class till she has her masters.

My son is in college now (going into his 2nd year) he stayed at home. He's also going to UD, he had no desire to live on campus and get the "college experience".

It'll get better. Do you have Skype? Lot's of phone calls help.

:hug:
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