Picture this. You're watching an Olympic women's basketball game, let's say, USA vs. Croatia.

And you are informed, in all seriousness, that two of the Croatian players are named Anna Greatlabia and Irina Blowjob. For real.

I just read two players in the Spanish soccer team are called Ana Buceta and Veronica Boquete.

Buceta is vulgar for vagina in Portuguese. Boquete is vulgar for blowjob.

I SO want to watch a Brazilian broadcast of such a game.

Gol! Gol! Gol! Gol! Gol!

Unfortunately, I got there on 9-10-01.

Tried to learn what was going on back here in Portuguese CNN. We didn't understand the language yet. Some locals tried to help us figure it out.

We still had a great time. Went up and down the coast (Pipa). People were very sad for us Americans. At first. It was something to see. People stayed at home for days and days, watching tv. All the restaurants empty. People were telling us how sorry they were.

I miss the place. I'd go back in a blink. The music is great the food is wonderful.

The scenery is so diverse and the place is so vast.

The language is probably the nicest-sounding I've ever heard.

And the women there are so beautiful and full of life.

I envy you, my friend.

Cheers.

I am biologically unprepared for heat.

By way of a divorce ended up being named Fonda Dicks. She was a high school basketball star, and according to him the local radio sports guys were merciless, saying things like "Fonda Dicks had fifteen big ones last night."

Sports reporting is full of jokes like that. They're usually more subtle.