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Apparently, the first installment of Atlas Shrugged was released in a limited release on April 15 and was (quite beyond the awful source material) quite very bad. In the spirit of helpfulness, I feel that it is the place of the DU Lounge to make suggestions on how the final two films could be improved. Below are my suggestions.
1.)Addition of compelling new characters not in the book. It is quite true that to have a successful summer blockbuster release now, your movie must contain at-least one character who appeals to children and offers promotional tie-in opportunities. Atlas Shrugged simply does not offer such a character...until now. Meet Jar Jar Galt, John Galt's idiot half-brother: He's cute, he's cuddly, he's filled with catch phrases like "Isa love I"
2.) Cameos Nothing ropes an audience in like an unexpected film cameo. Atlas offers many such opportunities with its' large cast of characters. Imagine Newt Gingrich in a walk-on as "That Asshole" and Paul Ryan as "That other asshole". We could even squeeze in Mitt Romney as "A different asshole" and Sarah Palin as "That asshole's annoying wife." Instant attention-grabber.
3.) More action Let's be honest, the book...kinda one hell of a snoozer. Nothing happens, then nothing happens, then some douchenozzle gives a 115pg. speech. Let's add something to keep the audience awake. Something like 2 minutes into his speech, a laser bullet screams through the air and rends John Galt's head from his neck! Oh no, the alien invasion has begun. Oh oh fucking no! They've got time machines and they've brought the entire Mongol horde with them. Cut to a shot of two of the Khan's men manhandling Dagny Taggert. Now, with a cry of "One for all and every man for himself" a counter assault by the Objectivist Marines: they're shoving each other into the paths of the enemy fire to save their own skins! Oh, how glorious. Suddenly, a Bollywood dance number breaks out. Then, a dance-off between Rearden and Genghis for the fate of the planet! Now, nude ballet dancers (covering the entirety of the gender identity spectrum, full frontal). We close by breaking the 4th wall as everybody stops suddenly and turns in silence to face the camera with Jazz Hands! Tell me that's not action-filled enough for you...I can totally add CGI orcs and a narration voiceover by James Earl Jones.
4.) An experienced hand in the director's chair One of the main criticisms of Atlas, Part I is that the production values are outright terrible. The continuity is off, the cinematography seems more interested in the rented furniture than the characters, the actors seem to be mailing it in and they seem to have done the staging on the cheap; every scene, setting looks the same, they clearly rented one limo, etc. A more experienced crew is the only solution to these sorts of problems and proper crew begins in the director's chair. Hiring an experienced director like Uwe Boll or M. Night Shyamalan used to getting the most out of crap and still managing to make a crappy film that would appeal to objectivists and assorted other idiots would be a great fit. Boll brings the added benefit of being able to write Nazi Zombies into anything...that would totally up the action in one fell swoop.
So how about you, how would you improve the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged? (Parts 2 & 3)
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