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Beaverhausen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-11 08:04 PM
Original message
crap. How do I minimize farts
somebody had to do it.
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ornotna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-11 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
1. It wasn't me, I swear
This should help

http://www.school-for-champions.com/health/flatulence.htm

:yoiks:
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-11 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
2. too many beans, dude.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-11 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
3. cork
remember the old monkey and pig joke from 3rd grade?:rofl:
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-07-11 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. I've, um... got your back.
.
.
.
Farting in public can be quite the embarrassment - which is why U.S. Patent 6313371 helps keep your flatulence
a private affiar. This non-intrusive pad will be taped inside briefs or panties in the anal area,
working hard to neutralize whatever personal greenhouse emissions you might have due to stuffing yourself with too much turkey
and other holiday meals. Made from charcoal cloth originally developed by the British
Chemical Defense Establishment of the Ministry of Defense, this makes it more than capable of deodorizing toxic gas.
It will take some time before the Flatulence Deodorizer makes it to commercial stores,
but this is definitely one of the wackier gadgets to be released thus far~
.
.
.
Farting in public can be quite the embarrassment - which is why U.S. Patent 6313371 helps keep your flatulence
a private affiar. This non-intrusive pad will be taped inside briefs or panties in the anal area,
working hard to neutralize whatever personal greenhouse emissions you might have due to stuffing yourself with too much turkey
and other holiday meals. Made from charcoal cloth originally developed by the British
Chemical Defense Establishment of the Ministry of Defense, this makes it more than capable of deodorizing toxic gas.


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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-11 08:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. Bic lighter. Just nuke 'em before they get away.
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-11 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
6. Eat less beans
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-11 09:31 AM
Response to Original message
7. Here you go.....
http://www.flat-d.com/mefldepr.html
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-11 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
8. Click the little button in the upper right corner.
:hi:

Bake
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frogmarch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-08-11 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
9. Sell your Boston Terrier.
phew!
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provis99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-09-11 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
10. pull your buttcheeks apart before you fart.
A lot of the noise is the result of sound reverberating off of your ass.
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msanthrope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-09-11 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. Truly, I wonder how you found this out.... n/t
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-09-11 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
11. Beano, baby, Beano. nt
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-09-11 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
12. Dairy products can cause some people to ..ah..stink up the place.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-09-11 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
14. Kegels.
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