Has anyone had to deal with a hyper-defensive person?

I am now and it's exhausting

I have read that it stems from insecurity in childhood.

Example: "My steak is overdone"
Defensive Answer: "I didn't pick this restaurant...I wanted to go to X restaurant..You picked this place"
Normal Response: "Oh no, let's call the waiter to the table."

I tend to not handle people like that well.

Good luck with them...

And, totally off-topic, I'm going to New Orleans next month!

Among other things I'm going back the the Bombay Club to hear Marlon Jordan and his trio.

Loved that back in May.

Any restaurant suggestions?

:hi:

miss Nola SO much

It is so good for your soul to go there...there are no rules and it is so freeing.

Guess when you see 1,200 people wash out to sea the little bullshit doesn't matter

I am a real foodie!

Restaurants:

My favorites:

Casual:
French Market Restaurant - great fried shrimp/oysters, cajun potatoes, and raw bar. Excellent bloody mary's. In the Quarter,
near the French Market, on Decatur
http://www.neworleansonline.com/directory/location.php?locationID=185

Liuzza's by the Track- local hangout - 10-15 min cab from French Quarter
http://www.nola.com/sites/liuzzas/

My top places for Dinner:

Nola's - One of Emerils, in the Quarter - 534 St Louis
the man knows how to make food that tastes good. My favorite: Garlic crusted drum with bacon butter sauce. Great
shrimp and grits too.
http://www.emerils.com/restaurant/2/NOLA-Restaurant/dinner-menu

Lousiana Bistro - Quiet, intimate place on rue Dauphine in the Quarter We had filet mignon with crayfish butter
sauce..excellent.
http://www.louisianabistro.net/index.htm

Commander's Palace: The absolute best, bar none. Take a cab...about 10 minutes from French Quarter.
Love the shrimp tasso appetizer. Unfortunately, last time I went...I inadvertently sat where there
is a plaque that "Reagan sat here" Very very pricy
http://www.commanderspalace.com/menu/dinner/

Cafe Achafalya - Very cool vibe and great food. Local hangout Maybe 10-15 min cab out of French Quarter. Set in
the Garden District - big antebellum homes with huge old trees.
http://www.cafeatchafalaya.com/

Best hangover drink...Bourbon Milk Bunch - it's at Napoleons - where upstairs they actually
were going to hide Napoleon before he exiled to Elba. In French Quarter - Chartres St.
http://www.napoleonhouse.com/

Friendliest Bar...
Fahy's Irish Pub, in Quarter on Burgundy - dog friendly! We knew no one and
walked in and the locals bought us Mind Erasers (where everyone drinks this huge drink simultaneously
with straws) Walked in at 7 and stumbled to a cab at 2:15 am

http://www.yelp.com/biz/fahys-irish-pub-new-orleans


HAVE FUN !!

IF YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME...THERE ARE TONS OF HOUSES TO WORK ON. My husband and I signed up and
worked on a rehab. the person in charge was a 19 year old girl from California and they put us
completely in charge of all the insulation...like we knew all about it and how to do it. We learned.

I never knew how much I'd like it until I finally went this year.

The people are really really nice, and I did like all the places I ate, but your recommendations will help.

I do want to see the Marlon Jordan trio again, so I'll have one night at the Bombay Club, in the quarter one block of bourbon st.

Texas is lucky to have you!

:hi:

it as the best martini place on our search for the best. Too bad she had
her shopping bag lifted by a priest who we talked to at the bar. Haha

if you eat there...get the mussels

where are you staying??

This time it's the Embassy Suites, convention center, more of a working trip though the last one was business, too.

I'm attending a four day event held at that hotel, so makes sense to stay there.

A few blocks east and I'm at Canal and can keep going for a walk every night to a different destination!

:toast:

The other has anger management issues.

More than once, we had incidents where D said something hyper-defensive and Crash walloped him over the dinner table. I spent the last 10 years I lived at home forced to sit between them at meals.

dysfunction with them because the will 1) get angry or 2) get defensive. Guess it needs a third party

And/or people constantly engaged in CYA/defensive behavior. And I think it's less about insecurities from childhood and failure to deal with severe abuse suffered in childhood. Either way, people who behave like that into adulthood, while expecting others to accomodate their dysfuction bug the ever living crap out of me.. It's called therapy. Look into it.

does she get defensive!...

Today's her birthday, BTW. 45. Crazy.

My older sis...

Um...I mean...that is...maybe?

They seem to have a lingering resentment deep in their psyche.

That'll solve most of your problems with the hyper-defensive.

Been that way my whole life. I can go and buy a bag of chips, and, if I complain about them being to salty, her response is "Oh, well sorry, it's all my fault, i'm a fuck up, blah blah blah ad nauseum."

And for fucks sake, do NOT complain about 1. Republicans (she's a registered dem, staunch, but weirdly gets offended) 2. Catholics, the vatican, christian nutballs, because she'll take offense (even though she's been an atheist since graduating HS) 3. Iowa (both parents are from Iowa, but mom gets offended when dad makes fun of it ):crazy:

who simultaneously managed to be utterly condescending and totally defensive. A few months of dealing with that infuriating combination of personality disorders and I left for another magazine. She didn't last much longer at the place I left.

By their knee-jerk reaction ye shall know them: "Ugh! I can't say/do ANYthing around here!" Martyrs. :banghead: