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Ned some medical advice. STAT!

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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 05:57 AM
Original message
Ned some medical advice. STAT!
If I'm removing my own appendix on the way to work today, should I use salad tongs or an ice cream scoop?
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taterguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 06:13 AM
Response to Original message
1. Appendix removal requires anesthesia so you should probably get a ride to work
But I'm not a doctor so take that advice for what it's worth.
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
12. Strictly speaking, your subject line is not true
Prepare to cringe and squirm uncomfortably: http://www.southpolestation.com/trivia/igy1/appendix.html
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siligut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:15 AM
Response to Reply #12
17. Wow, but he had to do it
Appendicitis let go, can cause peritonitis and death, he saved himself some real grief. Also, strictly speaking, one doesn't need to be unconscious to be anesthetized. Definition of Anesthetic from Farlex: A drug, administered for medical or surgical purposes, that induces partial or total loss of sensation and may be topical, local, regional, or general, depending on the method of administration and area of the body affected.

My guess is he shot his belly up with one of the caines.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 06:21 AM
Response to Original message
2. Ice cream scoops are best for brain surgery. n/t
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Vinca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 06:26 AM
Response to Original message
3. Try a cherry pitter. Pop! There she goes.
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LaurenG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 06:38 AM
Response to Original message
4. Unless you are proficient with salad tongs a hard twist with a gloved hand
should do the job. :shrug:
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 06:41 AM
Response to Original message
5. Man up!!! Delay the appendectomy, sign up for 6 months of yoga classes and then...
.
.
.
... after you're sufficiently limber... chew it out. Then take it to
Happy Hour, give it to your bartender and have him/her spear it
with a toothpick and use it as a garnish in your dry martini.
.
(This is known in some circles as an "appendectini". Not MY
circle... but some.)
.
.
But you knew all that already.
.
.
.
IBTmedicaladviceL.
.
.
.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 08:57 AM
Response to Original message
6. I would suggest putting a lobster into your pants and then sit on some butter.
He'll crawl up your butt and yank the thing out.
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Incitatus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
7. What the hell are you thinking?
Everyone knows you should use a corkskrew.
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woo me with science Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
8. Yes.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
9. Cork screw. And have some duct tape handy.
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 09:44 AM
Response to Original message
10. do it laproscopically with a church key and a crazy straw
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
11. who is Ned
Rex's cousin, perhaps?

:D

wishing him a speedy recovery from the recent surgery
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
13. Be a man. Gnaw it off yourself.
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ohiosmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
14. That may not be an appendix.
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IcyPeas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-12-11 07:37 PM
Response to Original message
15. highlight the appendix then press delete
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
16. In the Civil War they used to use whiskey for anesthesia.
Take a big gulp and let 'er rip.

Bake
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #16
18. a cowboy would bite on a bullet
in the day
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. He would bite the bullet AFTER taking a shock of redeye ...
Not before.

:hi:

Bake
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RedCloud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
20. First make sure you do it on a "table" of contents.
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Gidney N Cloyd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
21. This has been up for over a day now. GodDAMMIT, where the hell is Ned?
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-13-11 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
22. If you're driving, use the ice cream scoop.
So you can keep one hand on the wheel.


If you're being driven, or riding a train, go for the salad tongs.
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