Operation Wedding Party (#OWP) is under way.

Jen and I did our wedding rehearsal last night. I do not like to be in the spotlight so I was pretty nervous with only 20 people (our families) looking on. But my father-in-law-to-be says that after Jen walks up the aisle my consciousness will focus to just her and the priest...probably for me out of some primal survival mechanism that only appears in humans under the most stressful of circumstances. :scared:

Actually, it's not that bad. My sister and a friend both told me to just remember that everyone in the church is my friend or family and that they all love me. If I screw up at some point in the ceremony all will be forgiven and maybe even looked back on with happiness.

I never thought I'd get married before this time last year. It just didn't seem like it was in the cards for me. November 5th is the anniversary of me and Jen's first date.

What a long, strange trip it's been...

I became severely mentally ill when I was 20- Bipolar 1. I would not receive the proper treatment for the illness until I was 30. I refer to that as my lost decade because lost is a good way to describe the way I was. I didn't have the proper wedding garment and I was bound hand and foot and thrown into the outer darkness, I guess you could say. I was at my very worst and ready to end it all when I checked into a hospital for what I hope will be the last time- at least for mental illness. I finally started to get the right medication at that time. It was an amazing experience. It was something like what the Buddhists call enlightenment. Not the little "a-ha" but the big motherfucking cracking open my skull and shining a spot light in there "A-HA!"

That was a little over 8 years ago, and since then, in my blinded by the light stumbling down the road to recovery kind of way, I've walked a path that has led me to here right now in my love's home preparing the best I can for what will be the biggest day in my life to date. I wonder if it's too late to get married at the court house. :D

I've been a member of DU since March 2003. I used to post under the user name Droopy up until a few years ago. Most of my posts have been right here in the lounge and I know that there are a few who are still here who remember me from back then. They are probably thinking, "Thank God for the creation of the mental health support group," because I used to litter the lounge on the subject of mental illness. Anyway, I'm glad that all of you have been here for me so far- both old hands and greenhorns. I have put my life into this forum and all of you have been very supportive. Thank you. :)

and just enjoy and cherish this day!!

We look forward to the pics and of course stories of your married life :D

Tobin, you are a good man and you deserve all the good that happened to you

:hug:

It may take about a week to get actual pics of the ceremony up, but we may have some pics from before and after the ceremony. I think I'm going to give my camera to a friend and just tell him to fire away.

You are a sweetheart, MissHoneychurch. ;)

The day might seem like a blur, but with photos you can enjoy it again and again, without the rush of emotions that can be overwhelming at times. You have been through so much, this is a very positive kind of stress though, you are going to have intense feelings and they are going to be happy.

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Focus on Jen AND you. Your combined strength and love will see you through this -- and it will be done.
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I've told you I had TREMENDOUS stage fright when singing with the band. Literally hoped the power
would go out so I didn't have to get up on that stage. As a medic, I had dealt unflinchingly and
unhesitatingly with actual life-and-death issues, but I was almost paralyzed getting up in front
of all those people.
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No more than 5-10 seconds into the performance and I never EVER wanted to stop.
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You'll be fine. Breathe.
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And the picturing of others naked always helped me, although I would fuck it up and invariably
picture MYSELF naked instead.
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That was OK, too. Calming.
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Sometimes a little chilly, though.
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I'm so happy for you. It will be a beautiful ceremony no matter what happens. Have fun with it if at all possibly! (I am right there with you on the nervous in front of people thing)

the Lounge loves you. we are right here behind you both. congratulations!

to you and your bride, Tobin. I am so happy for you! :hug:

you Tobin.

I do remember your posts of past and how you thought you'd never find a person to love and a person who loved you back, but then Jen came into your life, and we are all so happy and pleased for both of you.

You'll be just fine at the ceremony . . . just don't over think it! ;-)

Sending BIG HUGS to you and Jen. :hug:

today is a big day in your life and hopefully just the beginning of a new journey with your life partner. Congratulations to you both!:toast:

naked, sitting on the toilet. Works every time for me when I have to be before a crowd. :-)

So now the day is here...

And I could not be happier for you and your Jen!

It has been a privilege to read your stories, both from the road and about your mental illness. I am so proud to call you friend! You have persisted and conquered your demons...

You have put your life into this forum...and we have all benefited from that.

Congratulations on today, and for always!

:hug:

:grouphug:

:bounce:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:party:

We're sorry that we couldn't make it down for your ceremony but we'll be there in spirit!

So looking forward to seeing both of you in a few weeks!!


lots of love :hug:

kesha

:toast: :party:

for life but being on the right stuff has made a huge difference for them as well.

I keep hearing that Al Green song, "Love and Happiness"...wishing these and all good things to you both~



http://www.metrolyrics.com/love-and-happiness-lyrics-al-green.html

I wanted to copy the lyrics here but it wouldn't let me...