OLD AGE: On Keeping Things in Perspective

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Subject: 95 YEARS OLD

Harold is 95
and lives in a senior citizen home.
Every night after dinner,
Harold goes to a secluded garden
behind the Center to sit and ponder
his accomplishments and long life.

One evening,
Mildred, age 87,
wanders into the garden.
They begin to chat,
and before they know it,
several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation,
Harold turns to Mildred and asks,

"Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks,

"What?"

"SEX!!" he replies

Mildred exclaims,

"Why you old fart,you couldn't get it up
if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know,"
Harold says,

"but it would be nice if a woman
could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige,"
says Mildred,
who unzips his trousers,
removes his manhood
and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night
in the garden where they would sit and talk
and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up
at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold
and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the senior citizen home
where she found him sitting by the pool
with another female resident,
Ethel,
who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled,

"You two-timing creep!

What does Ethel have
that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily
and replied,

"Parkinson's".

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