Social Studies Lesson

It originated as humor, but it's more than just a joke.

HOW TO BE A GOOD REPUBLICAN: WHAT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE

1. You have to believe that the Senate floor is an appropriate context for the use of the f-word.

2. You have to believe that global warming is a myth that shouldn't be taught in schools, despite the evidence of sea levels and climate records.

3. You have to believe that there is no causal link between legal, easily-obtainable handguns and high murder rates.

4. You have to believe that global temperatures are completely unaffected by fossil fuel emissions, that the best way to save the national forests is to allow logging companies to cut down old-growth timber, and the best way to save endangered species is to allow trophy hunters and wildlife traders to import more of them.

5. You have to believe that family healthcare coverage should be extended to encourage mothers to stay in the home, but that farm subsidies should be extended to keep fathers out of the home.

6. You have to believe that human life is the second most sacred thing there is on this earth (the first, of course, being crude oil).

7. You have to believe that businesses never purposely hurt anyone to make money.

8. You have to believe that hunting requires an automatic rifle.

9. You have to believe that inherited wealth is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that war is an acceptable solution to any economic or social problem.

11. You have to believe that everyone should support the troops, but not so much as to want to bring them home.

12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are for poor and middle class people, not the rich.

14. You have to believe that "Women Who Make The World Worse" and "Taking Sex Differences Seriously" are excellent reads, but our Constitution is "a g**d***ed piece of paper".

15. You have to believe that voting in the wrong precinct is a felony when Michael Moore does it, but not when Ann Coulter does it.

16. You have to believe that the only reason supply-side economics hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is that the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe that thousands of live caribou, fish, foxes, and moose are of less value than thousands of dead, fossil sea organisms that have turned to slime underground.

18. You have to believe that war is pro-life.

19. You have to believe that illegal Republican Party funding by corporations is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

20. You have to believe that Mike Huckabee, Kate O'Bierne, and Phyllis Schlafly are not insane.

21. You have to believe that the media are biased toward Democrats, despite that all the major media outlets are owned by ultra-rich Republicans.

22. You have to believe that Fox News is "fair and balanced."

23. You have to believe that criminal drug abusers belong UNDER the jail unless they're rich, bombastic, midday radio talk show hosts.

24. You have to believe that it is important for the U.S. Army to remove women from combat situations, but not support the easiest way to do that: an Iraq exit strategy.

25. You have to believe that being a patriot is unpatriotic.

26. You have to believe that this piece is part of a radical far-leftist agenda, which seeks to undermine the core values on which our nation was founded.

A fair number of good points in there!:)

You're painting a with pretty wide brush though...

"3. You have to believe that there is no causal link between legal, easily-obtainable handguns and high murder rates. "

Alienating a lot of democrats with that statement as well, keep in mind that we (..'re supposed to) support the right to bear arms as well. Remember, Florida's crime rate has fallen 39% since concealed carry was legalized, and Washington DC still boasts incredibly high crime rates.

"12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution."

Now to be fair...the NRA parades itself as nothing more than a 2nd amendment organization, while the ACLU claims to support civil liberty as a whole, but clearly doesn't. The NRA is a non-partisan organization, and I'm willing to bet a fair number of DU'ers are members.

"25. You have to believe that being a patriot is unpatriotic. "

Again...to be fair, that's not really saying anything. They don't believe in the same form of patriotism we do...many of them genuinely believe we don't care about the country (and who can blame them, have you been to an average high school or chat room lately? A lot of self-professed liberals genuinely do make attacks against America and the American people. I know that's not where we stand, but a lot of people who claim to stand with us think that calling Bush a Nazi and launching ad hominems qualify as arguments, a lot of people who claim to stand with us genuinely areanti-American, and we have to distance ourselves from them)