Homicide Bomber Kills Only Self

http://pssht.com/fauxnewsarchives/nov03.html

Homicide Bomber Kills Only Self
President Struggles For a Term to Describe the Man


President Bush is still struggling with how to describe a man whose homicide bombing attempt failed to kill anyone but himself. A collection of experts and the President are actively working
together to resolve this problem. The latest word is that Mr. Bush favors "self-homicide" and "self-inflicted-killifying" over "auto-homicide" - as suggested by Karl Rove - because, "he says
the car was never alive," an anonymous White House source told FOX.

FOX has also learned that the President is in high spirits, frequently adding a dose of his light-hearted humor to the otherwise heavy discussions. His principle concern, said the source,
is that, "someone really oughtta come up with a word for this type of thing."

The confusion began when, on Tuesday, a Palestinian man armed with a car bomb failed to accomplish his goal of killing several Israeli soldiers at a check point in the Golan Heights. The
would-be homicide bomber's plan was to remain inside the explosive-rigged automobile and detonate the vehicle just as he drove past the Israeli military men. However, as luck would have it, he had improperly set up the detonation timer, and as a result only the driver himself was killed.

According to reports the Palestinian man had been planning the bombing for several days, but had not fully learned how to calibrate the timer. "Thank God for incompetentness," said President Bush, "now, let's just figure out a way to label this evil man and get on with our lives."

What Fair and Balanced term
best describes John Kerry?

Elitist
Communist
Waffler
Evil

Not a current article or op-ed.

New threads must be based on a recently-published news item or op-ed piece.


Undergroundrailroad
DU Moderator
I/P, N/S Affairs

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