Tonight: The return of the half chimp/half pigeon monster

we like to call the Chimpleton.

Has anyone else noticed that when this missing link thinks he is making a "point" that his head bobs forward and back like a retarded pigeon? It's like he is trying to poke his listeners with his nose from a distance.

I've thought of a new name for him. "Bob".

I married a Bob, and I don't want his name associated with Chimpleton. Please find another one -- I kind of liked "Blinky." :)

.

... he fumbles.

He just can't pull it off. He's absolutely shitty in the clutch. The pressure gets to him, and he flops.

I'm thinking of the 2004 State of the Union address, when Chimperor announced his glorious plans to invade Mars. Or the infamous Tim Russert/MTP interview, which was widely panned. Or when he went in front of the American people to beg for the $87 billion Iraq War Supplemental. Or the only "news conference" of this year, when he just couldn't come up with a single mistake, in front of a silent and stewing press corps.

And then, there's the first debate.

I've got knots in my stomach, but I just have this feeling Bush is gonna screw the pooch tonight.