George W and The Father of our Country

A Bedtime Story

Many times, First Android Laura Bush has compared her husband to George Washington, noting that both could be referred to as "George W." (There the similarities end, of course, as Washington was elected President of the United States.) Anyway, I fell asleep thinking of the Father of our Country, and of Mrs. Bush's nerve, and dreamed the following contribution to our national folklore.

President Bush - by which, of course, I mean George Herbert Walker Bush, the democratically-elected 41st President of the United States - always took pains to inspire in his children a great scorn for the truth. "Truth," said he to George Jr., "is a useless thing. It's for vegetarians and hippies. Any fool can tell the truth, but a lie - especially a financially successful lie - is golden."

"So it's good to lie, Pa?" asked the young George, after several minutes of dull stammering. Words did not come easily to him, and he was busy playing. He loved to wait quietly for the little doves to land on the fence around the ranch, so he could shoot them.

"That's right," said his father, kicking a homeless woman in the face. "Remember, son, you're a Republican."

One day, Mr. Bush decided to give his son a present. "The perfect gift for a young child!" he said excitedly when he thought of it. "An axe!" He knew his son would love it, as George Jr. adored violence. :nuke:

Well, Little George Bush was very excited about his new toy. He took it everywhere with him, hacking away at plants, trees, houses, animals, homosexuals, and minorities. He carried it around so much that pretty soon, the neighbors began referring to him as "that insane little fucker with an axe."

One evening, some Saudi Arabian terrorists came over for dinner, to thank Papa Bush for all the money and weapons. He thanked them for the oil, and they decided to plant an olive tree outside the house. Because the olive branch is an eternal symbol of peace, everyone had a good laugh.

When the tree grew, though, it didn't take long for Little Bush to hack it down. By now, his arsenal had grown; in addition to the original axe - which was little more than a hatchet - he had two more. Each was bigger, sharper, and deadlier than the other. He called them his "axes of evil."

Well, when his father discovered that his fundamentalist friends' gift had been demolished, he demanded an explanation.

"Father," said George W., "I cannot tell the truth. I had nothing to do with it."

Mr. Bush smiled, with a thousand points of light in his eye. He understood. "I'm so proud of you, son," he said. "Now come on. I want to teach you and Jeb how to steal things." :evilgrin:

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Since he IS the George III of presidents...