"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the main event..."

"In the far left corner, we have the Democratic Kid, clean-cut and All-American...He is a tough customer and has fought many tough battles."

"And in the far-right corner, we have the Republican Bruiser, a little slow and plodding, but he seems to find a way to win. They will meet in the middle of the ring for the World Championship Wrestling Belt".

"The Democratic Kid turns to his adoring audience and waves to his fans...They applaud wildly. The Republican Bruiser grabs him from behind and slams him to the mat before the bell even rings to start the match...Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be some brawl."

"The referee pats the Bruiser on the back as a signal to break it up. The Bruiser obeys but kicks the Kid one time before he starts back to his corner. The Kid, dazed and confused, staggers to his feet."

"They meet in the center of the ring and the Bruiser gets the Kid in a headlock and turns his back to the referee. Wait! He's getting something out of his trunks! It looks like a bar of soap! He's rubbing it in the eyes of the Democratic Kid! The Kid falls to the floor. The Bruiser falls on top of him and rolls him over so the referee can count him out. One! Two! Three! The winner and still champion of the world....!"

stands up and said "Yes, it was a fair fight!"

:)