Transcript of Cheney's oath of office:

I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
(especially those wimpy America hating liberal Democrats)
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same;
(except the parts that get in the way of the Project for a New American Century and the parts that might help those wimpy America hating liberal Democrats in any way whatsoever)
that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion;
(unless it comes to facing a grand jury or a jury of my peers, in which case I will lie my ass off)
and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter:
(as long as it benefits me and mine and that noble group of corporate donors who put me here)
So help me God.
(heh heh heh, yeah right.)