George's Amazing Alphabet Book for Kids

From TomDispatch.com. It seems that our President had some time on his hands last fall and wanted to get cute with his critics. Some excerpts:

<snip>A as in Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaedas all around. I know. I know. It's usually alligator or aardvark or ant or armadillo, but kids, really, it's a New World and it's never too early to be armed and ready for it. (By the way, boys and girls, prepare yourself for the first White House single-shooter video game, Armageddon Battles Al-Qaeda! In your neighborhood stores soon!) Amazing Fact: Did you know that, according to my friend Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, at least ten terrorists could fit in your room and you wouldn't even know it?

<snip>C as in Counting. See Rummy count the WMD! (WMD are three well-respected letters -- see W, M, and D -- which when put together are massively destructive! They mean Weapons of Mass Destruction, which can destroy massively, which is why we went to war with Saddam Hussein who was hiding in a spiderhole and threatening to spray WMD all over our country! WMD are still in Iraq even though we haven't found them yet because they're probably in one of those spiderholes like the one we found Saddam in, which is what my friend Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld says.

<snip>D as in Detention. Ahmed, the terrorist, was detended in Guantanamo (See G.)


<snip>F as in Florida. I love Florida. It's the best F-word around! It's how I F-ed the Democrats!

Apologies in advance to those who lose their meals along the way.

LINK: http://www.tomdispatch.com/index.mhtml?emx=x&pid=2315

I have enough trouble convincing them that the Hulk is not lurking outside their bedroom windows. If they heard about the ten terrorists in each of their rooms, I'd never get them to go to sleep!

G as in Guantanamo. My (EXCISED) (CLASSIFIED) with the (CLASSIFIED) while my hands were (TOP SECRET). Guantanamo, which is a (CLASSIFIED) for the (CLASSIFIED) (EXCISED)(CLASSIFIED), more than the (TOP SECRET) justice.

TomDispatch vouches for this piece's authenticity, Nucular and all. Since Tom says he received it "some weeks ago," I presume that it isn't an April Fool's joke.

:rofl: