Who would make the best third-party candidate

Socially liberal and looks great in formal wear.... can't get much better than that!

If we're going to have a third party, let's siphon off some of the good ol' boy votes from the Repubs. I doubt that they'll notice he's dead. He's looked pretty much the same for the last forty years...

he's the only one dressed for the occasion!

We've got to have someone with a strong overseas agenda leading the ticket, and a strong underseas agenda to balance it out!

http://www.commondreams.org/news2000/0426-09.htm


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
APRIL 26, 2000
7:03 PM
CONTACT: Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
Ficus Plant Announces Candidacy For Congress

MORRISTOWN, NJ - April 26 - Claiming that the American people "deserve better," a potted plant, commonly known as "Ficus," formally announced its campaign this morning to seek the Congressional seat in New Jersey's 11th District as a write-in candidate on both the Democrat and Republican Party ballots in the June 6 primary.

"The United States Congress is full of babbling idiots and bumbling morons," said Ficus campaign strategist and filmmaker Michael Moore. "Most run unopposed in their primaries and 95% are re-elected every time in the general election. What we get from these Congressmen-for-life is a lot of hot air, a bunch of promises that are never kept, problems like health care and education that are never addressed, more taxes for a bigger military when there are no wars, and a bigger paycheck for Congress when they don't deserve it."

Moore, in presenting the Ficus at a press conference in the historic town square of Morristown, New Jersey (site of George Washington's military headquarters), also announced that Ficuses in more than twenty other Congressional districts around the country (see list), where the incumbent faces little or no opposition, are also entering the race.

"Ficus Fever is sweeping the nation," said Moore. "In a country where the majority no longer vote, writing in Ficus will give the disenfranchised voter a chance to cast a vote for "None of the Above!"

More:
http://www.commondreams.org/news2000/0426-09.htm