Time For Some Ad-Libs

Today's topic: The typical John Kerry thread.

John Kerry, the 1. ________ Senator from Massachusettes running a 2. ________ campaign for president is in my opinion, 3. _____________. Kerry has made 4. __________ judgements and taken 5. _________ positions on issues that directly impact the day-to-day lives of average Americans.

Senator Kerry is running a 6. _________ campaign, crisscrossing the country, telling voters that he is 7. ______________ to defeat President Bush.

He has run into 8. ___________ from Howard Dean, former Governor of Vermont, who's insurgent campaign has 9. _____________ the democratic establishment.

Should Kerry wind up the nominee, Democrats will 10. _____________ and on election day 11. _____________.

1. (a) Stately, nuanced, thoughtful
(b) Baby-eating slimebucket

2. (a) Impressive and hard-charging
(b) Dirty and filthy-stinking poo-poo

3. (a) The best candidate for president
(b) The real kidnapper of the Lindberg baby

4. (a) wise
(b) deranged

5. (a) courageous
(b) spineless

6. (a) inspiring
(b) boring

7. (a) the most qualified
(b) not going to even try

8. (a) a very strong challenge
(b) a heaven-sent juggernaut he can not possibly hope to overcome

9. (a) frightened
(b) saved

10. (a) rejoice
(b) sob

11. (a) charge to the polls and elect John Kerry president.
(b) find a polling booth if it's on the way to the store.