Have you heard this one?

Three surgeons were having lunch and one of them said, "I am the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That is nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in the field events in the Olympics."


The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

More proof that gasoline prices are out of control:
I pulled into a full service gas station today and asked for five
dollars worth of gas. The guy farted, took my five bucks
and walked away.