Fashion Police for Dem Candidates...

Okay, this may seem trivial, but in the age of TV's "Celebrity Candidates" it's time to tell some of our contenders that the Fab Five from Queer Eye should pay them a visit.

Number one: Mr Clark, you are one handsome fellow with the kind of chisled features that can only be bestowed upon you by birth. Having said that, I know the sweater is supposed to make you appear more approachable, but considering your numbers among women voters could use a boost, here's a tip -- ditch the sweater and get yourself a smartly tailored suit. You want to appear as presidential material, not as the kindly, asexual, professorial neighbor-next-door.

Dennis... for God's sake please do something with your hair. Anything. Even that other Dennis, Mr. Rodman, has better hair on occasion. We want to love you for more than just your mind.

Howard, Howard... with a rather neutral complexion and rounded features, you need your clothes to provide line and contrast. Get rid of the suitcoats and shirts all in the same value. And who gave you those ties??!! Maybe you could borrow something from Al Sharpton's closet.

John Edwards... not much to say here, except that John looks as if he just took his fraternity pledge. I should be jealous, but I do wish he looked a bit more... "mature"?

Anyway, I hope this has been presented with the proper dose of humor, but there it is. This is the television age, gentlemen, and when the networks devote as much time to who was wearing what at the Golden Globes as they do the presidential primaries and our exploration of Mars, you KNOW people are watching. Superficial it may be, but it is also a legitimate consideration.

Clark only started wearing the sweater when he hit New Hampshire, where everybody else was wearing sweaters, because it's so cold.

Now Bill Clinton knew how to dress for the cold, with that gorgeous, sharply tailored 3/4 black coat. Damn, did he cut a striking figure!

So the weather is no excuse for sloppy... er, "comfy" dressing. Otherwise, could we expect he'd be campaigning this summer in a pair of cutoffs? :D

Would give the candidate who got a makeover form the fab5 a huge boost.

Also having the primaries run as a reality show would be a great idea aswell

They would reach people who are not watching CNN or Faux and not hanging out on the internet.

... rush into a Dean stategy meeting and wisk him away for a day of makeover shopping. I didn't know stores actually sold such boring clothes until I saw Howard wearing them on TV. :)

his hair with some grey. I think he would be taken much more seriously if he had.

I agree that looks do matter in politics.

... and millions more who would sell their mommas to look as if they haven't aged since college, but in this case i think it's a bit of a drawback. A little grey at the temples would do wonders, but there's one other suggestion that might help -- if he wears reading glasses, a sharp designer pair whipped out at the appropriate moments might lend a hint of maturity.

Jeff Koopersmith has an article where he tells Dean to get fashion/makeover help but to make sure not to tell anybody, otherwise he'd end up becoming the butt of jokes like Al Gore did when he consulted feminist Naomi Wolf.

I'd like to seem him in some khakis with a nice denim shirt. Hey, that look worked for the Big Dog!

Let's keep in mind that other than the unfortunate resemblences to both Alfred E. Neuman and a chimpanzee, which seem lost on many, Bush is impeccable as to appearance. Hair and haberdashery are both in order. Our candidate must do no less. I'm repeating myself from an earlier thread, but since you brought it up:

On Clark..I agree...a very handsome man and possessed of the Most Presidential Hair in the race. It's not just the suits, though. Someone should burn his shirts and ties, too.

Edwards..here is our only area of disagreement. I think he's very attractive and I don't know if he can do all that much on the maturity issue. He just looks young. But I hate his hair. It's just not General Election hair. The part is in world of its own. Of course, I hated Clinton's hair during the '92 primaries, too. Thought he looked like a televangelist and he did OK despite my disapproval, but we have to do this without Ross Perot. The hair guy on Queer Eye should be unleashed on Edwards'hair. His suits, shirts and ties are fine, though.

Kerry - He can't help that he looks like Lurch. Play it up by having Thing hand him his notes. He just needs a weekly trim on the hair. It doesn't appear to grow down so much as upward and raises the question of how will he keep the deficit under control if he can't control his hair.

Kucinich - his hair is a mystery I can't solve. I cant' figure out how or why it got that way.

Dean, at least, doesn't have any really obvious deficits as to hair or clothes, although the points you make are well taken. I do think he's got big trouble in the facial expression area in unguarded moments.

50 bucks. Where do you get clothes like that? Walmart suits?

I like the reading glasses idea for Edwards. I have found myself several times saying he is too young and he is 50. We spend our adult lives trying to look younger and then say he needs to look older :)

... with almost all of your observations.

You wrote: Let's keep in mind that other than the unfortunate resemblences to both Alfred E. Neuman and a chimpanzee, which seem lost on many, Bush is impeccable as to appearance. Hair and haberdashery are both in order. Our candidate must do no less.

Exactly! Our candidates need to look PRESIDENTIAL, not like fashion disasters. It's distracting.

On Clark... yeah, his suits and ties are pretty stuffy. I attribute that to too many years in the military. General, take a note: there's a difference between being "neat" and being fashionable. The Fab Five could do wonders here.

Edwards hair: yes, I'd have to agree with you here, too. He definitely needs a stylist. That part makes him look too much like Commander Riker on a visit to Starfleet Academy.

Kerry: Yeah, the long, laconic look worked for Lincoln but at least he had a beard to add a touch of gravity and wisdom. Some help with the hair would be a good start.

Dennis: What is it about politicians from NE Ohio? What was the name of that congressman with the wild hair, the one who ended up in the slammer? Do you think he and Dennis shared the same stylist?

I didn't touch much on Al Sharpton because I have few criticisms. If the rest of the candidates dressed as sharply as Al I'd be a happy camper.

with the narrow sloping shoulders, broad hips, snakey tongue, horsey tooths and mile high blow dried coif, all turned out in his everyman's Timberland barn coat.

;-)

A more up-to-date haircut might help.

is that this issue does matter far more than it should. We have to make sure our candidates get the latest, sharpest makeovers they can, lest we have a "hair gap" with the President.

This should put it into perspective: of the 4 presidents on Mt. Rushmore, probably only Jefferson would be electable today-based on looks. Picture the pundits, if they treated our best presidents the way they act about today's campaigners...
Washington: "He never smiles! What a grump!"
Lincoln: "Did you see that beard?!?"
Roosevelt: "Why doesn't he do something about that gap in his teeth?"