Does anyone have the republican lightbulb joke?

I can't remember all of it and was wondering if anybody had it. Thanks in advanced.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four hundred and seventy one: 12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb; 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry; 16 to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D;
34 to cut the marginal tax rate on high-wattage light bulbs;
9 to threaten trade sanctions if Germany and Japan don't start buying more 110-volt bulbs; 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb; 41 to chat with defence contractors about equipping everyone in the building with night-vision gear instead...

And 283 to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs, or screwing anything, on the Internet.

(this joke, you can replace names and what nots, but when i heard it, it was a clinton joke)

One evening, Bill Clinton decided to take a walk around the white house, and when he stepped outside, it started to snow. HE slowly walked around the white house, and was thinking to himself, how can i solve medicare, how can i stop the terrorists, and how can i get universal health care for every american citizen. Then something out of the corner of his eye, caught his attention. He trudged through the snow, and to his astonishment, written in pee, in the snow, was "Bill Clinton Sucks"...when bill read this, he was pissed...he was upset. He couldnt' understand how someone could sneak onto the WH lawn and leave a message like this...so bill stormed up to the Secret Service Office...

Bill kicked in the Secret Service Office door, and caught the officers there off guard, Bill started spouting off, how could you let someone onto the WH lawn to degrade him, and the WH this way, what if it was a terrorist? Bill told the guards, he wanted to know within the hour, who wrote/pissed on the WH lawn...the Officers scrambled to figure the case out, and bill went back to the Oval Office...

One hour later...One of the secret service officers knocked on the Oval Office door, and bill let him in...bill says, well, who in the world did it? The officer says, well sir, we did a urine analysis of the piss and sir, it was Al Gore's piss...bill, is pissed...god, damn Al gore, that traitorus punk, how dare he....and bill realizes that the officer is still there, and he says good job officer, you did a dandy fine job...the officer says, well sir, there is something else you should know..bill says, and whats that? Well, Sir, it was Hillarys handwriting.....:)