"Dictionary of Republicanisms"

The Nation
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051212/kvh

article | posted November 22, 2005 (December 12, 2005 issue)
Dictionary of Republicanisms
Katrina vanden Heuvel

Over the past few decades, the radical right has engaged in a well-funded, self-conscious program of Orwellian doublespeak, transforming the American political discourse to suit its ends. Think tanks like the Cato Institute routinely market phrases for their political resonance, like "personal" vs. "private" accounts. Frank Luntz, the Republican pollster, lexicographer and MSNBC pundit who combines Madison Avenue techniques with K Street connections, sends out regular missives informing Republican operatives and politicians on how to spin conservative policy proposals. (He was on The Daily Show demonstrating his talents, defining "manipulation" as "explanation and education.") Paul Wolfowitz admitted to Vanity Fair that "weapons of mass destruction" was agreed upon as the reason to go to war with Iraq because it was the most salable rationale. And we all know how that turned out.

Before we can win the great battle of ideas, we must debunk the right's political discourse, a veritable code of encrypted language that twists common usage to deceive the public for the Republicans' purposes. The key to their linguistic strategy is to use words that sound moderate to us but mean something completely different to them. Their tactics range from the childish use of antonyms ("clean" = "dirty") to the pseudo-academic use of prefixes ("neo" is a favorite) to the pernicious and very expensive rebranding of traditional labels ("liberal" as an insult).

We decided we needed to break the code by building a Republican dictionary. Skewer their deceptions with the fine-tipped sword of satire. Lies melt away in the face of mockery.

Unlike Republicans, who rely on rich old cranks and intellectuals-for-hire to do their dirty work, we opened up the process to the people. For six months, thenation.com accepted suggestions from everyone who wanted to participate. The result was an overwhelming grassroots groundswell of hilarious submissions from citizens who are mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore. Thousands of definitions were entered from all over the country, forty-four states in all, along with Puerto Rico and Washington, DC. (We even received a few from outraged Canadians, Australians and Brits.)

<<snip>>

abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education .

alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil .

bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations .

"burning bush" n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire .

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils .

China n. See Wal-Mart .

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage .

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans .

compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy .

creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental .

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie . 2. Patronage saint .

democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted .

dittohead n. An Oxy(contin)moron .

energy independence n. The caribou witness relocation program .

extraordinary rendition n. Outsourcing torture .

faith n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary .

Fox News fict. Faux news .

free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense .

girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately .

God n. Senior presidential adviser .

growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich .

habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act) .

healthy forest n. No tree left behind .

homelandism n. A neologism for love of the Homeland Security State, as in "My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty..." .

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march" .

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate) .

laziness n. When the poor are not working .

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working .

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist .

Miller, Zell n.7 The man who shot and killed Alexander Hamilton after a particularly tough interview on Hardball .

neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes .

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy, especially if unrelated (See Deficit, Iraq War) .

No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military . 2. n. The rapture .

ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth .

Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us .

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth .

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million .

simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors .

staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result .

stuff happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian .

voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout .

Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense .

water n. Arsenic storage device .

woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have thechild. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding herreproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place .
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So we're once again taking submissions for follow-up weblog postings. If you didn't submit before, now is your chance. Just click http://www.thenation.com/contact/infx to submit definitions.

Damning with faint praise.

;)

on bottom to submit your own.

For years the repukes have been making Liberal and Democrat a bad name.
The only reason they do this is to cover someone else in the mud they themselves have been lying around in for years.
Thanks for posting

Bullying the members of the loyal opposition by excluding them from committed meetings and many other functions of Congress in order to get them to rubberstamp any appalling legislation the dominant party's contributors want.

Gonna send it around.

I missed this yesterday or whenever.

can be taken at face-value.

That's a beautiful piece. :thumbsup:

God n. Senior presidential adviser .

:thumbsup:

smart, clever people here at DU. lets give some definitions of our own.

So we're once again taking submissions for follow-up weblog postings. If you didn't submit before, now is your chance. Just click http://www.thenation.com/contact/infx to submit definitions.

:kick:

nt.