Homo and homo or hetro and hetro...

We all know that it is legal to marry in every state without having any problems, especially if it's hetro on hetro.
Most of you should know it is Not legal to get married in some states where it would be a problem, especially if you're homo on homo.

My older brother is gay and planning a wedding with his soon to be spouse after the first part of the year. I think it's great and he's asked me to stand by him. Me and my other brother will stand for him with pide and honor. My Mother on the other hand says that she is refusing attend.

A lot of states are passing laws that would ban gay marriages. They're also passing laws that would stop them from being partners or guardians.

What I want from all of you is to let me know your views on Gay marriage, partners and guardians.

The laws are also trying to stop them from adopting orphaned children. What I would like to hear from you on this is 1. Should be allowed only if they're two women only. 2. Allowed for men only 3. Allowed to both couples.

One other thing, I would like to hear your reasoning for all of your answers

Most of all be truthful, Thanks

that being said, I have attended gay weddings and believe that two adults who want to be married should be allowed to be married and that gender should NOT be a factor....period.

Congratulations to your brother and good for you and your other brother.....I can only hope your mom will come around.

My Mom will be there even if we need a rope. I'm not a fan of marriage anymore either.

What, exactly, is meant by the word "marriage"?

If it means that two people are committing to love each other for the rest of their lives, then where does gender or orientation enter into that question? This world being in the fucked up state that it's in, I can't see any logical reason to oppose two people making a public announcement of love.

If it means a legal agreement between two people for reasons of insurance, health care, child custody, property ownership or any number of other things that most of us have to deal with in life at one point or another, then whose business is it as to which two people enter into such a legal arrangement?

If it means a religious ceremony, then that is, and should be the discretion of the leaders of any particular church, synagogue, mosque, or whatever. Some congregations will be in favor of gay marriages, some will not. Those who do not have every right to regulate their own churches, but they do NOT have the right to regulate the other congregations who feel different, NOR the right to dictate that their particular religious interpretation be written into law.


Now having said all that, I'm hardly an expert. Pushing 40 and never married, so what the fuck do I know?

Still, I dare any Freeps lurking out there to tell me where I'm wrong ;)

I mean in the same traditional wedding that a man and woman have. That's how I feel it should be. But I can uncerstand that different churches should have the right to say no. I don't want to see a law saying that they are not as free as hetros.

First, I think it is great you are standing by your brother...that is real family values! Second, well, that will take more info....

I have no interest in children, so I can't comment to that other than I feel it is better for a child to be raised in an environment of love and understanding, as opposed to "the system." However, as for gay "marriage," I don't honestly give a rat's pickled ass what they call it...I just want equal rights! There is only one marriage in this country...civil! You can take the hetero partner of choice to the local church and "get married," but in the eyes of the state, you are not married until it is on file with the court house! However, if you, and your hetero partner of choice, go to the courthouse to get married, it doesn't matter if either of you have EVER stepped foot in a "holy" house, because according to the state....you are married! So, IMHO, all this bullshit about "religion" is a red herring. No gay person is trying to make the "Church" conform to our thoughts, we just want legal recognition.

Personally, for the past year, I have had to pay for extra insurance because I was not allowed coverage by my partner of 4 years coverage. That is changing come January, but, there are still many parts of the insurance package where I am not eligible. However, he could go grab some woman off the street, run to city hall (11 blocks from us), and marry, and she would be eligible for EVERYTHING!

Remember the Terri Schiavo thing? Had that been a gay couple, there would have been no "thing!" The partner would have never been recognized and the wishes of the parents would have superseded the partner, even if they had been together for 30 years and the parents hadn't spoken to the "patient" in 30 years. Even legal contracts can be challenged. A gay man, who was with his partner of 35 years, will lose his and his partner's farmland because a 3rd cousin came forth and challenged the will!

When someone says they are against gay "marriage," just simply say, "all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others!" If they don't get that comment (Animal Farm), back away from them slowly before they spew their hate upon you!

Blessings to your brother and his mate!

a very kind and loving person. The words you use, in your post, are very similar to my brothers when we talk about this very subject. You both come across direct and to the point but with a very calm, somber demeanor. I've been with a lot of my brothers friends and every one of them seem to be very comfortable with who they are and what needs to be done so they can have equal protection that is given to us all. If it were me I would be screaming, yelling, biting and kicking.

As far as my Mother goes, she is 84 years old and comes from the deep south. Her archaic wisdom is pretty much set in stone. However, my brothers and I have always stood as one and we're pretty sure that she'll come around.

Blessings to you and your partner as well, and I hope all the cruelty will end soon.

there is no inherent dysfunction in being gay -- and there is no inherent dysfunction in being in a gay relationship.

we are entitled to the same privileges as everyone else re: taxes, inheritance, insurance, etc.

i'm sorry your mom wants to make that wonderful day about her and her feelings instead of about your brother and his partner.
but if most of the family rallies around them with good will and love -- she may come around in time.

I agree with you 100% on everything you said. I'm sure my Mother will come around. She has a hard time accepting that my brother is gay because she thinks that it is her fault. My brothers and I will get through to her I'm sure. Thanks again for our kind thoughts.

Marriage is about promises made and kept. It is about the trust and communication you build with your partner. It can also involve raising ANY kids...no matter who provided the DNA originally...in a stable and loving environment.
I really don't see where 'who has what equipment' comes into this equation.
My take on this is that if you aren't involved directly in a particular relationship...then you shouldn't be involved. T'aintnunnayerbizniss.

:hippie:

my son and his mother (we're divorced) consider raising our son one of the greatest joys and challenges we will ever have. My partner would love to be an active part in that as well. I feel many gay men (and lesbians) would make fantastic parents! All it takes is patience, stamina, love, understanding, discipline, courage, devotion, and rsponsibility. As far as I can tell these qualities do not differentiate between the homos and heteros among us.

I admire your love for your brother. Not sure mine would (confortably) do the same thing. And as far as Mom goes, she accepts me for who I am and wants me to be happy - but I cannot see her at my wedding to my partner if that ever happens. Maybe I am not giving her enough credit - but I can't see it.

It doesn't matter who raises the child as long you are there for them 100% of the time.

Your brother doesn't have to be comfortable at first but when he sees the love and commitment that you and your partner show to each other, I'm sure that he would come around.

My Mother blames herself for my brother being gay. Perhaps deep insideyour Mother feels the same way.

I hope everything works out for you and your family and thanks for your nice words.

in everything you said and welcome to DU.

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

Gay or straight, I don't care. Love and commitment are what is important in life.

I support gay adoptions, gay parents, etc. I could care less about who has sex with whom.

In Michigan, a single adult or a married hetero couple can adopt. A gay couple from my church each adopted a little girl. All I can say is those girls are about 10 or 11, are very happy, are always dressed well and are far better off in a permanent home with two loving people than they would be in the foster care system. It's just unfortunate that both men can't adopt both girls.

I am opposed to pedophiles raising children, theirs or anyone elses. Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of stupid people out there who equate homosexuality with pedophilia. The person most likely to abuse a kid sexually usually claims to be heterosexual and is a male. He also usually has an adult female partner to hide behind.

for posting on this thread. That's a wonderful story about those two little girls that got out of the foster care system. With all the stories and ads we hear about adopting pets why can't we, as a society, work just as hard in trying to make sure that our children have loving parents and a childhood that is so full of love that they'll love to talk about it when they get older. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs as much as you do (I have two lhasa Apsos) why do we have to put so many roadblocks up for the innocent kids. People in this country, not just republicans, have to abandon their homovobic fears and start acting like adults.

I haven't had many responses to this today but the ones that did are all positive. I would love to hear from those people that are on the other side of this topic. Thanks again noonwitch

Church marriage - should be entirely up to the church or house of worship to decide if it's going to perform/recognize the ceremony

Civil marriage - should be legal for both same-sex and opposite-sex couples

Civil unions - might be more preferable as a short-term compromise, since there are heterosexuals who don't want to "share" the word marriage with same-sex couples

Domestic partnership - better than nothing, but not really with the same sense of permanence as a civil union, and "partner" is a rather insulting/demeaning term for people in committed lifelong relationships

Guardians - anyone who has biologically helped to create an offspring should be eligible for consideration for guardianship, unless the adult is abusive

Adoption - gay male couples - should be based on whether they are capable of the responsibility of being adoptive parents

Adoption - lesbian couples - should be based on whether they are capable of the responsibility of being adoptive parents

My reasoning for all of this - the marriages or civil unions should be allowed for same-sex couples, because they aren't infringing on the rights of heterosexuals; adoption and guardianship should be allowed based on if the child will be in a healthy and safe environment.

answer. I agree that places of worship should have the freedom of marrying who ever they choose. The one thing that I can't figure out is why haven't more people responded to this thread. Gay marriage is the MAIN reason that liberals lost the moral high ground in this country. Gay marriage could be the main reason why we lost the last two elections, the neocons beat us up on this. If we don't start speaking out on this subject we could very easily lose again. I don't think we can afford to keep sweeping this subject under the rug. Why are the liberals so afraid? Thanks election_2004.

unfortunatly it comes down to people letting their religious convictions rule equality and the face of a nation.

i have thought that it would be wise legally to abolish the word "marriage" the religious pople have some sacred tie to this word, let them keep it.

you can have a religious ceremony in a church but there should be no legality. basically it is a ceremony. legally "civil unions" which should be equal amongst gays and straights have to be applied for through a license for any legality. the church should have no business in the matter since church and state should be kept seperate.

basically instead of marriage you have "civil unions" and both gays and straights are equals. marriage becomes just a word that anybody can use, but the religious people can have their word since it bares no legality, gays wont be able to legally use it, but in the end both straight and gays are equal under the same "term".

no more segregation.

im 110% in favor of gays recieving equal rights.

Gay or straight. And I mean married too not some bullshit compromise or play on words. I'm for this because I believe everyone should be treated equally under the law. As far as adoptions or guardianship I feel the same way. Gay or straight, people should have an equal opportunity to be parents.

Quite frankly I think this fierce opposition to gay marriage comes not from the holy rollers but the insurance companies. The holy rollers are the front and the fodder, the dupes made to get all up in arms on their behalf. It's a friggin joke.