Jeffersons Ghost

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Fri Feb-17-06 09:47 PM
Original message

FUNDRAISER IN HONOR OF CHENEY AND BUSH

Edited on Fri Feb-17-06 10:47 PM by Jeffersons Ghost

Since Republicans are such great hunters, I've got an idea for a fundraiser! Let Dead-Eye Dick teach the trained chimp to hunt quail! Let's invite that fine upstanding majority in the House and Senate to the festivities... I'll buy some high quality 00 buckshot for the guys to have some fun. After all, with the pressure our republican leadership is under they deserve a nice long rest and some real peace. I pray that they will forever rest in peace. Please check this form out and make some recommendations. November is closer than you think!

"LOOK DADDY! IS IT A GIANT QUAIL?"

.................................

"NO GIRLS, IT'S JUST A REPUBLICAN, SOMEONE WILL SHOOT IT SOON."

LONE STAR REPUBLICAN HUNTER'S CLUB

30th ANNUAL HUNT

LOCATION - Armstrong Ranch, Kenedy County, TX.

- Date: Nov 1st 2006

Huntmaster: Katharine Armstrong
ACTION PACKED ONE DAY HUNT

* TWO "HEAVY METAL" MAIN HUNTS -WITH MILITARY SLUSH FUNDS AS PRIZES
* GAL'S ONLY HUNT -WITH THE HOPE DIAMOND AS MAIN PRIZE
* FIVE MORE OPTIONAL HUNTS; QUAIL NOT INCLUDED
* COKE AUCTION -BY THE POUND WITH SEXY UNDERLINGS PROVIDED AT NO EXTRA CHARGE
* RAFFLE -WITH GOLD BARS

* THE BIG MAIN HUNT / FREE TAXIDERMY ON REPUBLICANS IN THE TOP 3% OF MONEY MAKERS!
* THE MINI MAIN HUNT / NO LICENSE REQUIRED!
* ALL PRIZES IN SILVER OR GOLD / NO WORTHLESS CURRENCY ALLOWED!
* ALL ENTRY FEES GO TO HALLIBURTON INC OR BUSHCO ENTERPRISES.

8:00 am
Registration
8:45 am
Reception, including champaign and cocaine brunch
12:30 pm
Treasure Chest Hunt (for secretaries and senate pages that have nice chests)
9:00 am
Mini Main Hunt (finally, a chance to blast away at fellow Republicans who piss you off!)
1:15
Gals Only Hunt (for male republican genitalia, magnifying glasses furnished)
9:45 am
Silver Half Hunt (finish off the other half of those turkeys who piss you off)
2:00 pm
Silver Dime Hunt (drop a dime on the chumps who dodged your shots in a whistle-blowers fest!)
10:30 am
Bill Hunt (That's right hunters! Papa Bushie tricked old Bill here to shoot at Monica before we shoot at him!)
2:45 pm
Coke Auction & Raffle Draw
11:15 am
Silver Contract Hunt
4:15 pm
Big Main Hunt (quail only on request: Republicans running free in fields baited with gold!)
11:45 am
LUNCH
5:00 pm
Awards / Prizes

PLEASE RETURN THIS PORTION WITH YOUR ENTRY FEE
Mail entry to: LONE STAR REPUBLICAN HUNTING CLUB 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500. Phone Numbers Comments: 202-456-1111 Switchboard: 202-456-1414 FAX: 202-456-2461,

ENTRY FEES: Please check appropriate boxes below. (ALL HUNTS OPTIONAL)

Big Main Hunt ___$65 million... Gals only Hunt ___$20 (boy hunting quotes available for ministers and religious leaders)
Mini Main Hunt ___$45 million... Silver Dime Hunt ___$20
Silver Contract Hunt ___$20 million... Silver Half Dollar Hunt ___$20
Bill Hunt ___$100 million... Treasure Chest Hunt ___$20 per shot or $2 million if you get caught shooting off on a senate page's chest.

WORTHLESS U.S. CURRENCY NOT ACCEPTED

Total Enclosed: $____________

FREE!!! THE MINI MAIN HUNT IS FREE IF WE RECEIVE YOUR ENTRY FOR THE BIG MAIN HUNT PLUS ANY THREE OPTIONAL $20 HUNTS BY THE October 1st DEADLINE OR PAY INDIVIDUAL FEE(S) AT THE HUNT.

NOTE: Landowners, hunt officials, sponsors or club members connected with this hunt will not be held responsible for torture, theft, injury or death. YOUR SIGNATURE IS REQUIRED________________________________

PLEASE PRINT NAME:_________________________________ PHONE:_______________________
ADDRESS:______________________________
CITY, STATE:___________________________________ ZIP:______________________

General Info

* No immediate medical attention
* No evidence of killings preserved
* Food, drinks and drugs available near the hunt site
* Hunt rain or shine but during indoor hunts shoot only like Bill: NO FIREARMS INDOORS!
* Huntmaster/Reich-Marshal rules are final
* No refunds (especially to Native Americans)

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Nitrogenica

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Feb-17-06 09:53 PM
Response to Original message

1. When's the Quayle hunt?

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Jeffersons Ghost

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Fri Feb-17-06 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. Damn I knew I'd miss something!

thanks jhth but I mean, come on... everyone knows republicans can't hit quail! lol

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WannaJumpMyScooter

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Fri Feb-17-06 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #1

6. potatoe, quail

quayle, potato

:shrug:

all the same

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Jeffersons Ghost

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Fri Feb-17-06 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #6

7. thanks for the kick, I hope my op gave you a smile...

It took me a while to put this thread together... I'll keep an eye out for your threads in the future... Sometimes a little lightness is needed at DU, you know what I mean, wannajump? :yourock:

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WannaJumpMyScooter

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Fri Feb-17-06 09:56 PM
Response to Original message

2. Here's my entry

and some help for John and the girls...

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Jeffersons Ghost

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Fri Feb-17-06 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #2

4. pretty kewl stuff

Our hard-earned bucks bought it so let our leaders use it I say!

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Jeffersons Ghost

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Fri Feb-17-06 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #2

5. OIC

Here's a BIG mistake! This disclaimer doesn't cover nearly enough issues: "NOT EVER RESPONSIBLE" should be added... what do you think fellow DUers?

NOTE: Landowners, hunt officials, sponsors or club members connected with this hunt will not be held responsible for torture, theft, injury or death. YOUR SIGNATURE IS REQUIRED

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