Essay questions for conservatives

Seeing as today is Friday, allow me to take everyone back to our days in school, when our teachers - and then professors - would weigh us down with big homework as the week ended. In that tradition, I'd like to ask two essay questions to our Republican friends, whom I'm sure will see them. Feel free to answer yourselves, progressives, but I'd love to see what our rightie friends have to say in response to the following:

1. Republicans often claim to be the law-and-order party. They expect everyone to follow the rules and play by the book. Look, for example, at their treatment of the immigration issue. Republicans are using the threat of punishing lawbreaking as a convenient cover for their racist fear-mongering.

That said, how do you excuse the Republicans' inaction as related to President Bush's warrantless wiretapping, which, it has repeatedly been shown, is illegal. Further, the president has admitted to the practice and continues to do it to this day. If warrantless wiretapping is as illegal as illegal immigration, why aren't Republicans seeking accountability from their president?

2. Unless you've been on the moon for the last few weeks, you've not doubt seen prominent Republicans - including the president - and the right-wing noise machine accuse the media of not showing the "good news" coming from Iraq. If journalists focused on the positive instead of the overwhelming torrent of bad news coming from Iraq, the argument goes, opinion on the war would change.

That ludicrous notion aside, consider the release of hostage Jill Carroll. This, without a doubt, has been the best news coming from Iraq in recent memory. Why, then, have right wingers reacted so negatively to her release, insulting Carroll personally and questioning her mental state? Shouldn't they be ecstatic the media are reporting her release?

I wouldn't expect too many Republicans to be on time with their homework assignment, however. You should have given them more time than one weekend -- like maybe thirty or forty years to come up with decent answers to the questions posed.

But look on the bright side - if they actually turned in their essays, think of how many hours you'd have to spend correcting their grammar and spelling, let alone their unsubstantiated arguments!

Seemed as if Imus didn't appreciate what McGurk was saying.