'REVERSE' Psychology

“Reverse” Psychology
(A Few Crazy Musings from a Crazed Citizen, Nancy Greggs)

In pondering the many problems facing the country today, I’ve realized that we have some great ideas; we’re just not applying them to the right places, the right causes, and the right people.

The thing that springs to mind immediately is the idea that charities, and organizations that are looking for cures for disease, are constantly trying to raise money for the very things we all want and need, while our elected representatives sit back and collect a salary regardless of their effectiveness.

Shouldn’t this be reversed? Why not have our tax dollars fund, for example, all research into finding a cure for cancer, Alzheimer’s, and AIDS, while politicians go door-to-door, or put on telethons, to fund their salaries?

Imagine your average do-nothing senator or congressman tearfully begging TV viewers to pledge five bucks towards their yearly remuneration? They’d get exactly the salary their constituents think appropriate – in other words, a lot of the D.C. crowd would wind up living on peanuts until they could prove they were worth more.

I think we’d all agree that outsourcing American jobs to cheaper labor markets is bad for everyone. But maybe we’re just not outsourcing the ‘right’ jobs. I say we keep manufacturing jobs States-side, while outsourcing government positions.

Oversight of how the budget for rebuilding Iraq is spent? Let’s outsource that job to someone who actually LIVES in Iraq. After all, it’s HIS country we’re allegedly rebuilding. Why should some Washington shlub, who can’t even find Iraq on a map, have any say? I guarantee you a native Iraqi is going to demand that every penny be spent wisely – and they would have fired Halliburton on day one, which would have saved us billions from the outset.

In view of the job our so-called ‘representatives’ are doing in the area of actual representation, I’d gladly get behind outsourcing their jobs to the people in India who currently man ‘call centers’ that handle everything from home alarm company emergency calls to tourism inquiries about site-seeing expeditions to the Grand Canyon.

We can appoint Indian call-center operators to represent our interests by state, and keep their identities anonymous. I figure that a disinterested university grad in Delhi is more likely to judiciously weigh the pros and cons of any new bill being discussed before voting on it. They’re never going to run for re-election or seek higher office, so they’re bound to base their decisions on more pertinent criteria.

Of course, the outsourcing of all lobbying jobs to China goes hand-in-hand with the above. You can hear the corporations whining now: “How can we get to State representatives in India, if we don’t know who they are, and our lobbyists are on the other side of the world?” Exactly the point.

How about a single mom, who’s successfully raised, clothed and fed six kids, taking over government procurement? She’s got the experience, the style, and the savvy. Do you think anyone is going to get a $560 hammer past her? Think again. And she just might smack you in the head with your $560 hammer for suggesting such an outrage at the taxpayers’ expense.

Let’s put the Environmental Protection Agency in the hands of someone who has lost a child to disease caused by a toxic water supply thanks to the local chemical plant. They’ll be just as sympathetic to the ‘bottom line’ considerations of these companies as is warranted. “Your company will lose millions in profits if you have to pay for a massive clean-up? Well, cry me a fuckin’ river – and speaking of rivers, you’ve got ninety days to clean up the river you’ve been polluting for years, and your executives can sit in prison until the job is done.”

And insurance adjustors – you know, the guys at your friendly insurance company who decide that the thousands of dollars in premiums you’ve paid for twenty-five years don’t quite cover your house damage? I’m thinking there are hundreds of Katrina victims who could form a great oversight committee to determine who’s entitled to what. Get your lawyers to explain the difference between ‘water damage’ and ‘wind damage’ – I’m sure they’ll be fascinated!

Electronic voting machines have proven to be an ongoing problem, and the decision as to whether to allow the use of these things in elections is a tough one. Might I suggest a citizen-designed My-Bold machine to settle the issue? All interested parties can vote on whether they think products developed by companies like Diebold should be used. I think we all know how that vote is going to turn out. What’s that? Diebold is voted out and wants a recount? I’m sorry; being as the My-Bold machine does not produce a paper-trail, and its inner workings are of a ‘proprietary’ nature, a recount is impossible.

As for the positions of president and vice president – well, what can I say? God knows they both need to be replaced, and the faster the better. But considering the mess they’ve made of the country, that’s TWO jobs nobody really wants. Maybe we can set up some kind of national lottery, where the two losers get to take over the – oh, my mistake. The two biggest losers are already in those positions.

Well, back to the drawing board …

I've said for years that I want the single mother working on the budget.

I'd add one more thing. What if health care was completely paid for and the government had to hold bake sales to fund their war?

... or how about voluntary war contributions? People who believe in a war can donate, but tax dollars can't be touched. Had that been the case now, the funding for Iraq would have dried up long ago.

who is a WOUNDED veteran. Anyone in charge of or advising on the waging of war should know, personally, what war does, and what the true cost is. Maybe such an individual wouldn't be so quick to rush us into battle again without VERY good and VERY legitimate reasons. At the moment I'm thinking Max Cleland or someone like him.

And why not set parameters on who is eligible to serve in various posts? ONLY disabled war vets can oversee Veterans Affairs; ONLY doctors who have worked in inner-city free clinics can oversee funding for hospitals, etc.

Jobs in the private sector look to people with hands-on experience as the best qualified for top positions -- why should all-important government positions go to the Michael Browns of the world?

revenue raised from the specific charity they were allocated? That may give them a bit of incentive.