Here - I have a BRILLIANT idea that will solve the airport security...

dilemma FOR GOOD.

1. No passenger can carry on luggage. If you need your medication, call the stewardess to set up an IV drip for the duration of the flight.

2. All passengers much stay seated for the duration of the flight. Use the small white bags located in the seat pockets in front of you to do your business, or use the convenient catheter that will drop from the compartment above - where the oxygen masks used to be.

3. All passengers must keep their hands and legs in iron restraints for the duration of the flight.

4. All passengers must not wear clothing with pockets, or simply do not wear clothes for the duration of the flight.

5. It may serve you better if you permit the flight crew to blindfold you during the flight. Making eye contact with the stewardesses may be dangerous.

Relax and enjoy the flight. :hi:

even better?

...where Mr. Garrison invents some sort of rapid transit unicycle type thing. The only hitch -- instead of a seat it has a stick that you jam up your ass. But everyone uses it anyway because "heck, it's better than dealing with the airlines."

Why can't we have carry ons as usual but, they must be placed in the overhead compartment which are LOCKED by the stewardess (or automatically) until after the plane has landed safely. :shrug:

Why wouldn't that work?