"Thou Shalt Not* - (*please see attached)"

“Thou Shalt Not* … (*please see attached)”
By Nancy Greggs

We all know that GBW has gone hog-wild with signing statements. I even suspect that when Laura opens her birthday presents, there’s an asterisk next to the cutesy note inside the gift wrapping, specifying that should the giftee be unsatisfied with the gift, the giftor assumes no personal responsibility.

But what has slipped beneath the MSM’s radar (along with 99.9% of the REAL news) is the fact that those Righteous Christians (aka the Republicans) have apparently been attaching signing statements to the Ten Commandments they purportedly adhere to and revere.

“Thou shalt not steal.” It seems pretty straightforward, and yet the GOP apparently don’t think it applies to a myriad of things, including elections. It’s not like Moses came down off the mountain with “Thou Shalt Not Use Diebold Machines” etched indelibly in stone. So along with virtual fair elections we have the virtual signing statement: “The aforementioned shall not apply to disenfranchised voters who are expunged from the voting lists by virtue of the fact they might vote Democratic.”

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” While members of both parties seem to have a problem with this one, it’s the Republicans who drag it out every chance they get – you know, those 50-plus men who just happen to marry their 20-odd-year-old assistants AFTER their marriage of thirty years breaks down for reasons too complicated to explain to their constituents. “The aforementioned shall not apply to he who haveth a Viagra prescription and a wife who’s outlived her political usefulness.”

I guess we can wrap this commandment up with coveting thy neighbor’s wife, sort of a two-for-one deal like pizza or wings: “The aforementioned shall not apply if the covetor lives next door to a truly hot covetee.”

“Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath Day.” Well, unfortunately God (who really SHOULD have seen it coming) failed to be specific, i.e. a politician using his/her attendance at church on Sunday for the sole purpose of a photo-op is not exactly cooperating with the spirit of His law. “The aforementioned holy-keeping of the Sabbath shall not preclude the politically useful impact of hosting a prayer breakfast in view of TV cameras.”

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.” Yeah, well tell that to the eminent domain crowd. “The aforementioned shall not impede nor restrict the acquisition of prime real estate by the friends and/or supporters of the Bush Administration, especially where said lands can result in multi-billion dollar profits for private business.”

“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” Okay, this one is a biggie. We’ve got Dick Cheney and Orrin Hatch proclaiming (as good Christian men, mind you) that those dastardly ‘Al Qaeda types’ are just waiting for the Democrats to take control of the government before they strike the United States with everything they’ve got. (And let’s not forget that ‘everything they’ve got’ includes those WMDs, mobile chemical trucks, and bomb-laden balsa-wood drones they’ve still got hidden in Iraq somewhere).

It seems that people like Cheney and Hatch have no problem with bearing false witness against the Democrats – and if they DO know exactly what the ‘Al Qaeda types’ are planning to do, maybe their phones should be wire-tapped, because they are obviously privy to information that only ‘terrorist sympathizers’ would know.

For the real impact of bearing false witness, however, one needs to look to Jerry Falwell, who declared, within twenty-four hours of the WTC attack on 9-11, that this disaster was the result of gays, ACLU-types, and women who didn’t know their ‘place’. I don’t want to get off-topic here, but someone might remind Mr. Falwell not only of the sin of bearing false witness, but also of the Seven Deadly Sins, which include Gluttony – because for all the energy he allegedly expends doing the Lord’s work, he doesn’t look like he’s missed a single meal along the way.

“Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother.” I don’t deign to speak for God, but I’m thinking that gutting your mother and father’s prescription drug coverage plan for the sake of pharmaceutical company profits might figure in here – just sayin’. “The aforementioned shall constitute ‘honoring’ only, e.g. a Christmas and/or birthday card on the appropriate date, and shall not be deemed to be extended to prescription drug coverage, etc.”

“Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord, thy God, in vain.” Well, the way I see it, this is the motherlode of all hypocrisy one can attribute to the GOP – and given all there is to choose from, that’s saying something. While they’re busy supporting the killing of innocent civilians in whatever war they’ve got going, and the gutting of social programs that feed the hungry, house the homeless and so on, they have no problem calling on the Lord’s name while they’re doing so. “The aforementioned shall not restrict the Republicans from murdering children and proclaiming they have done so in His Good Name, Amen.”

“Thou shalt not kill.” If ever a single commandment took a real beating, this is the one. “The aforementioned shall not apply to anyone whom the President shall deem fit for total extermination, including innocent civilians in a time of war.”

I am always amazed by the fact that this Administration does not include torture as being inferred, if not implied, by this admonishment. Apparently they are adhering to the STRICT letter of the commandment here (a unique situation for the GOP), and pointing to the fact that there is no specific wording about torture. Of course, one might point out that there is also no express commandment about not being a homosexual – but hey, I guess even God can forget to fine-tune the small print from time to time.

“I am the Lord, thy God, and thou shalt have no gods before me.” Uh, oh!!! Here’s where the current Administration really shine. While they lead their faithful followers astray from every Christian belief they’ve ever held, they continue to contend that God speaks to and through none other than George W. Bush.

Forget all of that God crapola you’ve been reading about for centuries – G.W. Bush, now THAT’S the real deal. “The aforementioned shall be restricted to ALL who would put themselves above the Lord, our God – with the obvious exception of George W. Bush!” Of course, one can only wonder why God chose someone who breaks all of his commandments on a regular basis as his voice on earth, but there you have it.

So go ahead and kill, torture, lie, cheat, steal – and for God’s sake, don’t go easy on the covetin’. It’s all part of the Divine (GWB) Plan.

While I have always been a ‘separation of church and state’ type, I’d almost be willing to compromise here.

I’d be willing to have the Ten Commandments displayed in every courthouse, every public building, every public meeting place – on the condition that the Republicans actually start adhering to them.

It’s an easy compromise to agree to, because it’s never going to happen.

...for some fine writing...thanks,Cat

the difference between democrats and republicans is democratics enjoy life and republicans don´know how to enjoy anything. On second thought they must enjoy f**king every one elses life up cause thats what they do best.

anything that has the possibility for being for the greater good of the American people......

The War on Terror requires that we modify the quaint commandments to take into account the Brave New World we live in. To fight terrorism, we can't be bound by bans on false witness, theft and murder! We can't just covet the neighbor's oil...we have to act!

And if Plan A goes blooey, there's always Plan B: Rapture Time!

... We are talking about commandments that were given to a tribal group. Y'know... the tribe of Israel? We in the U.S. are individuals. We are free to apply our individual understandings to those commandments.

Isn't that how it is?

Now, of course that only applies to individuals that agree with you-know-who. Isn't that how it is?

It's impossible do anything *with* anyone who contradicts themselves at EVERY turn.

We could live with our differences with them if they were consistent enough that the opposition could figure out how to work with them. Either they are lying about their values, or they are so stupid that they don't know what their own value mean.

In either case, how can anyone work with them since they you can't ever tell from one day to the next how they are going to be because they CONSTANTLY undercut the things they themselves say they value. It's Crazy!

Her best piece ever, DU. Read it, memorize it, email it, repost it, talk about it at the watercooler, the garage, church, wherever.

:kick: :kick: :kick:

that picture is GREAT!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:)

:kick:

:rofl:


Once again, excellent work! :thumbsup:

while they preach about how morally superior they are.

Today's GOP leadership is a collection of frauds and hungry pigs at the trough. And I apologize to any pigs who were insulted.
The true GOP, those who put the interests of the nation first and foremost, have been pushed aside. In fact, I suspect that many in the old GOP would have far more in common with DU than with the likes of Mehlman and Cheney. Just think of Barry Goldwater. He was a realist, a pragmatist and he was against racial, social, sex-based discrimination. Can you imagine him saying "Macaca" in order to stoke up his racist crowd? Can you imagine Chuck Percy approving of warrantless wiretaps? There are so many other examples.

If you avoid the southwest portion of Putnam Township (Livingston County Michigan) chances are you will not find yourself in Hell.

:dem:

...I'd be willing to have your love child. :)
:yourock: :applause: :bounce:

Don't know what else to say to express my admiration of the way you nail it to the wall every time.
Damn, but you're good.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A COLUMN OF YOUR OWN???
'cause you oughta...

:kick: and R... duh!

How many of those filthy fucking repugs would tolerate Bill Clinton saying "I need to warrantless wiretap you, but cannot tell you how I am doing it?" False witness goes both ways and these schmucks have mastered it.

That the other side, the Religious Right, is right off the cliff on everything that truly is Christian.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

... that I commented on TWO of your emails to Cafferty (BOTH ABSOLUTE ZINGERS!), and said that if I were running for office, I would want YOU to be my campaign spokesperson!

I think far too much of you to let you make that error. :D

I would, however, gravel at a chance to be a part of your team in a more behind the scenes role.

Forgive me, but my head is swelling again and I fear I will end up floating about the house as I did the other day. :blush:

and pious irrationality.

They think that posting the 10 Commanments is the same as following them.

--IMM

people wouldn't feel such guilty pleasure violating them.

sincerity of my admiration and depth of my awe.
Fantastic post!

C.W. "Bill" Young, born 1930, who in 1985 divorced his wife, who had borne him three children to marry a Secretary in his office 25 years his junior. The "moral values" voters in Pinellas County (at least the parts of it that were not gerrymandered out) still keep re-electing him.

Help us get rid of his sorry, ancient, Nixon-era ass. Support Samm Simpson. http://sammsimpsonforcongress.com/

DUers can contribute at: http://www.actblue.com/page/help.samm

Seriously are you being published anywhere else? I read you post in a couple different sitting and I swear to the God who gave us the decalogue that by the time I got to the end of your latest post, I really thought I was reading Molly Ivans. Your just that Good!

Thank you for your insight and sharing it through the talent you continue to exhibit.

DWilliamsamh

:applause: