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Pssst, GOP … We’re On To You!
By Nancy Greggs
Sad but true, Republicans. The American people are on to you.
It started with a little pokin’ and proddin’, but once questions started being asked – and the lame answers started being given – the tangled web you’ve so carefully woven began unraveling like a cheap tube-sock. And guess whose toes are going to be sticking out at the end of it, sans wiggle room, when the game of this-little-piggy-gets-a-subpoena starts getting played for real?
As promised, the Democrats have started those pesky little investigations, and it’s become a lot like that domino theory you were all touting back in the day with regard to Iraq, how it would fall down with a thud, taking its evil neighbors with it, and democracy would flourish and – oops! (Didn’t mean to rub salt in that wound with quite so much gusto.)
But here’s the thing: this time the dominoes are knocking each other down for real, and which of you will be left standing at the end of the game is anybody’s guess.
Look, I realize that a lot of you people aren’t too bright. After all, I’ve heard Ted Stevens explain the internet, and Inhofe describe how the weather networks are promoting global warming in an effort to up their ratings. And we all know how, uh, not smart that guy in the White House is – you know, the one whose scatterbrained ideas you were rubber-stamping the whole time you had control of the government? Yeah, that one.
But I must say I expected that when push came to shove, you’d show a little more imagination.
You see, when the average taxpayer hears about billions in cash gone missin’ in Iraq, they don’t want to hear about how those wacky Iraqis are just such bad bookkeepers.
When they see New Orleans in the same mess it was over a year ago, they start getting a bit touchy about how their money has been spent – like being forked over to Halliburton (who, it would seem, have been using those same Iraqi bookkeepers).
They start getting really pissed-off when a war that’s already cost billions, with nothing to show for the expenditure but a giant debt (along with death and destruction, if you want to get technical), is being escalated – especially when the guy who started it all is holding his hand out for more moolah.
I hate to say it, but your current response to all of this is less than brilliant (“Hey, kids? Let’s have us another war!!!”), along with trottin’ out the same old dog-‘n-pony show that got us into the war you’re already losing. Maybe you figured you’re saving some bucks by revamping the old script instead of paying for a rewrite – but honestly, guys, it’s a bit too late in the season for reruns.
Along with the aforesaid BS coming to light, there’s the once tried-and-true GOP rhetoric that’s falling on deaf ears these days. Kinda hard for Mr. and Mrs. America to give much credence to that “We Support the Troops” bumpersticker when it’s plastered on the back of a still-unarmored vehicle being shot at in downtown Baghdad. Oh, and not for nothing, but your Feckless Leader’s new budget – the one that cuts veterans’ medical benefits yet again – isn’t exactly getting a standing ovation at the local VFW.
Then there’s that emboldening the enemy thing. Again, a little difficult to swallow when common sense tells you that nothing could lead to dancin’ in the enemy streets more than knowing that the same half-wit who’s botched the tune from day one is still singing lead vocal. Second verse, same as the first – only more off-key, if that’s even possible.
But just to go back to that domino theory for a second, it stands to reason that when people start hearing about the lies they’ve been told about one thing, it inevitably leads to them wondering what other things they’ve been deceived about. They start asking even more questions, start wondering about all kinds of stuff – and one thing leads to another, and before you know it, they’re thinking that maybe we should go back and take a second gander at things like 9-11, and election fraud, and signing statements, and treason at the highest levels of government, and – well, you get my drift.
Maybe it’s not so much a matter of the American people being on to you, as much as the fact that you’re just not into the American people. They’ve made their position on Iraq pretty clear (actually, damned f*ckin' clear), and you just keep slappin’ on the lipstick – as though you can turn this fat, ugly pig into something John Q. Public is going to take to the Inaugural Ball.
Honestly, I just don’t know where your heads are at these days. Maybe you’re just worn out, what with keeping track of all the contradictions, the cover-ups, the out-and-out lies. Maybe you were caught off-guard by an administration that can’t seem to come up with a way out of your troubles – you know, kind of like an exit strategy.
Well, it ain’t pretty out there in America-land, people, and the last time I checked, the torch-and-pitchfork crowd were asking after your current whereabouts.
I wish I had some heartfelt advice to give you. But in my heart, I know you’ve got it coming – and so do you.
So in the meantime, why not pour yourself some bourbon, blast a Dixie Chicks CD, and buckle up your seatbelts – ‘cause you're in for a very bumpy ride.
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