Polar bears? What polar bears?

Whatever you do, don't ask American scientists the "what color was the bear" riddle.



Frustrated as they are, the scientists agree this directive is easier than last year's "don't think about an elephant."

Also, restrictions on some types of communication have been lifted: no one will be stoned for saying "Jehovah." In fact, it's encouraged.

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Polar bears do not exist. Polar bears have never existed. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

(from 3/5/07)

WASHINGTON – Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) today offered the following statement on the proposal to list the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act. The proposal will be debated at the US Fish and Wildlife public hearing at the Department of Interior.

“Polar bears are disappearing and we are to blame. It is crucial to take responsibility for the damage already done, and list the polar bear as a threatened species. From melting ice caps to disappearing plants and animal species, the signs of climate change are all around us and we have to acknowledge them. It’s just sad that the Bush Administration won’t enact the one measure that would actually ensure polar bears are around for future generations: mandatory reductions in greenhouse gas emissions.

“We know that unless we take immediate and drastic steps to reverse climate change and identify its effects, life as we know it will be very different. The time to act is now.”

Disrespecting our Commander-in-Chief at a time of war! Tsk, tsk!

It's time someone asks Kerry whether he's an American or a polar bearican.

Besides, as Stephen Colbert has warned us: bears are godless killing machines!


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