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Since you cannot seem to find someone to fill the vacancy, I'll be glad to do it. I have worked in administration for about 10 years and am considered to be quite educated. It would be my pleasure to serve as War Czar provided that I understand the job description correctly. I would have an almost free hand in conducting the wars in Afghanistan and in Iraq. I would answer only to you and would not be interfered with by Condi Rice, Dick Cheney, or Bob Gates. I could move men and equipment around as I see fit to prosecute the wars. I'm your man.
However, I guess I should state that I will begin bringing our troops home as soon as I begin my tenure. I will make sure all repairs at Walter Reed and other medical facilities are expedited. I may even have fire Haliburton to do so. They won't be needed overseas because we will be coming home ASAP. I mean, screw Haliburton! I certainly will not pay them since they want to move to Dubai so badly. I have many other ideas which we can go over during an interview.
Of course, compensation is important. I want to earn the same amount as Karl Rove since what I will do is infinately more important than anything he has ever done. I will also require that you present me with the Medal of Freedom at some point before you leave office.
Thank you for your consideration.
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