Oooh lookee! the "Becoming Illegal" email

I just got this from a co-worker. Funny but of course sadly inaccurate.

Do they create this AT the RNC or at their thinktanks?

I don’t want to seem like I am taking this overly seriously but you can send this back to whomever sent that too you. I clearly am not taking it seriously as the vested interest who went to the trouble to compose that email or all of the people (I found exact copies of this from Iowa and Maryland on the internets) who copied and pasted it.

Anyway here are some FACTS

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/underpants/27

An actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his Senator, a Democrat:

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224-3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien, I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, and my son would receive "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
--------------------------------------------------

I don’t want to seem like I am taking this overly seriously but you can send this back to whomever sent that too you. I clearly am not taking it seriously as the vested interest who went to the trouble to compose that email or all of the people (I found exact copies of this from Iowa and Maryland on the internets) who copied and pasted it.

Anyway here are some FACTS

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/underpants/27

FACTS on "illegals"
Posted by underpants in General Discussion: Politics
Thu Mar 30th 2006, 04:53 PM
I literally spent MINUTES reading and collecting this information.

No, it isn't 100% complete but if you post something you are looking for I will do my best to find the FACT on it for you as best as I can (meaning I will tell you how much I trust it and you can make your own decision).

This issue is one with many "facts" to it but I trust what I am about to post.

Much thanks to suffragette.

For round numbers there appear to be about 10 Million "illegal immigrants" or "undocumented workers". Not to parse words here, they both mean basically the same thing.

Of undocumented/illegals--> 60-75% entered illegally. The other 25-40% entered legally and overstayed their visas or otherwise violated the terms of their admission.
-Of those 57% are Mexican, 23% are from other Latin American countries, 10% are Asian, 5% are European or Canadian, and 5% are from everywhere else.

Of the Foreign Born Population (~ 35 Million) in the US 25% are illegal/undocumented-- 30% are Legal, 30% Naturalized, 8% Refugees, 5% Temporary legal.

40% of illegals are women. 54% live in married families or other families. Fewer then half are single men and unattached.

According to the US Social Security Administration 75% pay payroll taxes and will contribute $6-7 BILLION in Social Security funds that they will never claim.

Okay here is where it gets fuzzy.

90-96% are employed (I saw both numbers)

AND NOW the big question

Do they drain social service resources MORE than they contribute?

The CATO Institute (yes them) says:

Myth number four: Immigrants impose a financial burden on taxpayers. Immigrants do make somewhat heavier use of means-tested welfare programs than natives. There have been especially flagrant abuses by immigrants of particular welfare programs, such as Supplemental Security Income. But because immigrants tend to come to the United States during the start of their working years --between the ages of 18 and 35 -- they make very large net contributions to the two largest income transfer programs: Social Security and Medicare. When the payroll tax contributions of immigrants are taken into account, the Urban Institute found that the foreign born constitute a net fiscal windfall to the public sector of some $20 billion a year. To the extent that welfare use by immigrants is a problem, this can be addressed by restricting the welfare eligibility of immigrants, not by keeping immigrants out.
http://www.cato.org/dailys/4-22-97.html

PBS (yes THEM) says

Immigrants pay more in taxes than they receive in public services in their lifetime?

REALITY: Welfare use among non-refugee immigrants is lower than among U.S. native-born citizens in the same age group (15-64). The 1990 census reported that 20.4 percent of immigrants were on welfare, compared with 26.2 percent of U.S. native-born citizens. In 1997, immigrants paid an estimated $133 billion in federal, state and local taxes. A typical immigrant and his or her offspring pay an estimated $80,000 more in taxes than they will receive in federal, state and local benefits over the course of their lifetimes.

http://www.pbs.org/itvs/thecity/immigratio...

And Finally Jesus-is-Savior (with hypnotic music) says:

5. Illegal aliens absolutely do not contribute more than they cost. Certainly the millions in prison and on welfare aren't contributing a dime to our economy, and the ones who are working often are paid in cash with no deductions for taxes at all. The ones who use fraudulent social security numbers and qualify to pay taxes and social security have so many deductions for dependents that they pay little if any taxes. We have seen them pay less than $100 in taxes and get back $4,000 refunds (thanks to earned income tax credits and multiple dependents). The Center for Immigration Studies estimates that the average Mexican illegal alien costs U.S. taxpayers a whopping $55,000 each. Some bargain, eh?
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%...
and adds


3. Illegal aliens are NOT necessarily coming here to work. Lou Dobbs recently reported that 33 percent of our prison population is now comprised of non-citizens. Plus, 36 to 42 percent of illegal aliens are on welfare. So, for a good proportion of these people, the American dream is crime and welfare, not coming here to work.

Okay I threw that one in.

Well so far that is what I have found. If you want me to go searching for any other specific questions please post them.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=284

(Okay, oddly, I already posted this, but it didn't show up, so forgive me if it double-posts.)

I was unaware of that resource. Looks like I found the answer to the "imminent ice age in the 70's" BS

Thank you very much.

But I doubt there's a country in the world that will take in another greedy, short-sighted asshole. Most countries already have their fill of them, and the ones that are already there will resent any intrusion by a dummy-come-lately.

having a Democratic President lends to the number of jobs ... you put in a Dem Prez, and you have all kinds of people paid to come up with simplistic, feel-good blathering and oral stimulation that is, at best, wildly inaccurate and serves to dumb down the population to the point that they actually believe the Republicans are doing something for the country other than replacing the lining in their pockets.