Predictions about the first Republican Assholes Debate tonight on MSNBC

Rudy Guillini will try to come off as nice guy to his base, but he'll be verbally abusive toward the Democratic Party whenever he gets the chance. He'll be using scare tactics via the terrorist route, and he'll be slamming "those wimpy Democrats" to make his point. The more anti-Democrat he sounds, the more his ignorant people will love him. He'll spit while he talks, too. Be sure to watch for it.

John McCain will fumble and stumble and forget his scripted answers that he tried to memorize for the debate. He'll look and sound so fucking pathetic that we'll almost feel sorry for the puke. I fully expect that after tonight he'll be committed into the insane asylum where he should've been sent to a long time ago.

Mitt Romney will be the Republican darling of the debate, his hair held in place just perfectly with a double dab of extra-strength Brylcreem and his pearly whites glistening from cheek to cheek. He'll be going for the family values image and will probably flash a photo from time to time of he and his wife, better known as Ken and Barbie.

Sam Brownback will sound as if he's doing a radio talk show. Whenever he's asked a question, he'll genuflect and do a sign of the cross before and after speaking.

Ron Paul will formally announce that if he's elected, no Republicans in the United States will ever have to pay taxes on anything again, just Democrats.

Tom Tancredo will be the screamer of the bunch. He'll forget his memorized answers and then challenge any of his adversaries to a fist fist fight to see who's the most conservative asshole of the bunch. He and Rudy will end up in a pushing and shoving match, fall on the floor and make asses of themselves. After the spectacle, the previously unknown Tancredo will find himself running neck and neck with Gulilaini in the post-debate popularity polls.

Newt Gingrich will make a cameo appearance, drop on the floor and attempt the first one-handed push-up by someone weighing over 500 pounds. He'll get taken away in an ambulance for his efforts but will survive.

After they're all done "debating", the Repukes will collectively moon all Democrats who are watching, they'll have an arm wrestling contest and a foot race, and then they'll hold mass with Brownback serving Holy Communion to the audience. After mass, they'll do a goofy skit where they sing and dance on stage, using song lyrics that scare everyone about getting attacked by terrorists in their living rooms if a Democrat is elected. Then they'll all go backstage and cheat on their wives with hookers donated by Karl Rove.

lol!

It's supposed to be pretty realistic.

That sure sounds like one heck of a good show. I hope the cameras dont forget tp include a shot of Zell on his leash.

hat trick, except he pulls money out of his ass.