The Rude Pundit: Unspoken Thoughts Floating Around the District of Columbia Yesterday

In a private Oval Office meeting, on the visitor's side of the desk: "Hey, you wannabe leader, you dickless, coddled, narrow-minded, warped bag of douche, what must it be like to wake up every morning, knowing that your children and grandchildren and generations of your polluted seed will be told that the world was plunged into chaos and destruction because of you? Not only were you the cause of much of it, but of those things you could have solved, you were too much of a fucktwit to do a goddamned thing about it? Yeah, that's gonna be funny when, outside the flooded or burnt out ruins of what were once our great cities, made unlivable by environmental neglect and a wrecked military and the collapse of an economy that finally forced the rich to move to Europe, the shells of schools teach their students to revile you while they ask, like classrooms in Poland ponder, 'What would have happened if Hitler had been assassinated?', what life would have been like if the Florida recount had happened.

"Jesus, George, how Bill and Madeleine and I used to sit around here and fuckin' laugh at the idea that Americans would be so pathetically stupid as to get tricked by you, how it didn't seem possible, how the idiot son of a defeated president couldn't possibly win. Never underestimate the placement of toadies in high positions, though, but I don't have to tell you. And you've made sure that everyone who didn't believe you could do it was punished, which means, you know, most people got to be fucked by you.

"But now, oh, shit, now, it's like what it must have been like to watch child molesters get drawn and quartered in the medieval public squares. It's like blood sport, seeing you fall, seeing your legacy being the nadir of American power and influence. You will be despised by all people in the world except a devoted little suicide cult, but there won't be a restoration for you, like Nixon or Reagan. No. Your name will be spoken in the same breath as Pinochet, Milosevic, and Mussolini, the graceless thugs of recent history. My descendants get the last laugh, motherfucker.

"Now listen up while I try to save your sorry ass only because I'm trying to save us all."

In the Oval Office, on the president's side of the desk: "I hope there's pie at that big dinner tonight. Do Arabs like pie? Sure, they do. Everyone likes pie. How long do I have to listen to this fat fuck to make it look good?"

In a private room at George Washington University Hospital, from the bed: "Suck my dick, Satan. You're not gettin' me yet."

In that hospital room, looking down at the patient, ready to administer electric shock to a skipping heart: "What did my grandma ask me? 'If you had the chance to kill Hitler, would you do it? If you had the chance...' Hmmm. Ah, shit. Just do your job. Fuckin' Hippocrates."

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Suck my dick, Satan. You're not gettin' me yet