The Rude Pundit: Rudy and Judy: Love on the Run (and on the Taxpayers' Bill)

So you're a former U.S. attorney who has put away major figures in the Mafia. You're mayor of one of the nation's largest cities - say, oh, hell, and why not, New York City. You at least believe that you are constantly threatened, the mob notoriously pissy about being taken down, and some of the threats may, in fact, be credible. You're married, but your marriage sucks. Still, members of your family are included in these nebulously-defined threats.

You meet a hot socialite who is, graciously, hot for you. But, see, if you start banging her behind your wife's back, then, well, you know what will happen: when word gets out, there's at least a chance she'll be threatened, the mob notoriously not subtle about who they target. A truly honorable man might, at that moment, say to himself, "Well, fuck, I'm married and, really, and, c'mon, why drag someone else into this shit. I'm gonna not be mayor in a coupla years. I can keep my crank in check until then."

But that would be you, and you are not Rudy Giuliani, who decided that it was best for all concerned that he start banging Judith Nathan as soon as possible, and to make sure that her life was threatened by the very people who threatened him, and that, at least to his thinking, and probably to hers, she needed police protection because Rudy is Rudy and couldn't keep his dick out of Nathan. And, good people of New York, you had to pay the bills to make sure that Rudy Giuliani's fuckmate was protected so Rudy could continue to get some o' that juicy Judith 'tang whenever his dowsing rod-like dick dragged him out to the Hamptons.

Yeah, if this is the Republican frontrunner, and, for now, he is, how pathetic the Republicans must be if this is the best they can muster. And, remember, as Joe Conason pointed out last week, the cops-for-Judy scandal is only the most glamorous 'cause it's got fucking (even if the thought of Rudy's combover ass pumping up and down is cause for lost lunches everywhere). It's certainly not the most serious.

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