Are You Ready To Make Nice in 2008?

Me either. In fact, 2008 might just make 2000 look like a walk in the park. Which is why we need to stand up and be counted. For real, this time. No more excuses from Republicans who claim to love America but really can't stand the democratic process. If you're looking for the truth, don't count on our no-way-is-it-free, corporate-owned press to give you the whole story. That would be so... um, founding fathers' 1770's, wouldn't it? And don't count on cable TV hairdos to offer unbiased reports on... well, anything. Keith Olberman aside, let's face it: what's good for General Electric's bottom line has never been any good at all for the rest of us. That's why we need the bloggers who refuse to make nice.

This week on the blogs: The sunroof latch is innocent! Innocent, I tell you! Maybe it was a laser beam; would you believe George W. Bush wants more government transparency? Keep laughing; in other startling news, Huckabee has an army of blessed bloggers; William The Bloody Kristol now works for his personal (former) Satan; and, the swiftboaters have a new target... on Planet OH RIGHT SURE. All this, plus DUers Magic Rat, jakefrep, Amerigo Vespucci, and graywarrior rock your world. Enjoy!

And Now We Bring You DUH News

Surprise surprise! The sunroof latch is innocent! Joining Al Qaeda in the "not guilty" corner, the Pakistani government issued a whisper-toned mea not-so culpa for trotting out their equivalent of Dana Perino to accuse a faulty sunroof latch in the death of Benazir Bhutto. In related weird news, The Moderate Voice asks:


At least, that whole "she hit her head and died" crap has been successfully debunked. Wait! Incoming...

David Kurtz at TPM writes:


Something tells me this assassination story is far from over. In other DUH-inspiring news...

Move over, Buzzflash. And make room for DUH! Magazine, whose tagline reads: "Real Headlines, Snarky Commentary."

Here are a few examples:


It's definitely a Duh, Duh world. But what about the mainstream media's week?

The Borg Buzz

Leave it to the New York Times to print every stinkin' word spewed out of Mike Huckabee's mouth. Thank goodness, there's always Think Progress to set the record straight:


Clog up the wireless system? Sounds like Huck-a-spud is about as Internet savvy as his fellow Republican, Ted Stevens. Pure D dumb. In a nutshell.

Not to be outdone by its own current BushCo brand of weirdness, the New York Times has hired William Kristol to write (cough) opinion editorials (cough) in the name of - are you ready?- "opposing viewpoints." Color me not surprised. Historically, newspapers' op-eds have represented the point of view of the paper, itself. So what does hiring original PNACer, Kristol, say about the NYTimes' viewpoint? Quiddity at uggabugga explains it all:


Hm. Fearful vs. Pissed Off? How ridiculous is Rosenthal's "fearful" crap? Here's the real deal, as Quiddity notes:


Ah! The old "he looks credible" excuse. Hell, J. Fred Muggs looked just as "credible" in his suit and tie. And how about that whole "respected" and "serious" hogwashapalooza? Respected by whom? Who's left among the neocons who'll buy the Times just to read Kristol? If Kristol's vitriol manages to increase the Times' readership, I'll eat my tin foil Stetson. For more on William The Bloody and his latter-day hate for his new bosses, Logan Murphy at Crooks and Liars has the details. Here's a snippet:


I think I speak for all of us when I say, so much for "the paper of record." Next up...

It's The Economy, Cousins!

Check, please. No, wait! Not the bill for the entire Bush administration's 8-year reign of economic horror! Gulp. Cliff Carson at The Populist Party blog has tallied the charges, and it's not pretty:


Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark. $33 trillion makes Reaganomics look like a joke. Speaking of jokes, is this one? Mathaba claims that a Danish bank is predicting a Ron Paul prez win because he wants to abolish the Federal Reserve. Hm. Evidently, Saxo Bank also predicts:


Real or not, this is some seriously scary economic forecasting. Enough to make you vote for Ron Paul? Naaaah.

Meanwhile, On Planet OH RIGHT SURE...

Did you know that wingnuts define "swiftboating" as "outing" the so-called fraudulant? That's right. And they're back. The wingnut blogger at Right Wing Nut House (I refuse to link to that bile; you can find the link if you must) thinks that the author of a new book coming out next Monday will destroy one of the Republican prez candidates. The "evidence" cited for guessing John McCain is the book's target? A "military angle." Oh, and there's this:


You heard it first here. The wingnuts who championed the swiftboating of Senator John Kerry will not stand for any swiftboating of Senator John McCain. Got that? Snap. As if swiftboating McCain wouldn't be the best thing to happen to his sluggish campaign? Let's get real. McCain would love this, and wingnuts know it... even though their whole pathetic crop of Republican candidates should be featured in a VH1 episode of...

Lifestyles of The Bad And The Buffy-ed

Here's something funny: GOP prez candidates cast as "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" villains from Cogitamus My favorites include:


Pitiful villains, the lot of them. Thank goodness! And don't forget to...

Thank A DUer!

Thanks to Magic Rat for predicting the only reason for any Dem candidate's win in Iowa:


Thanks for the... um, recap forecast, Magic Rat.

And thanks to jakefrep for alerting us to the new freeper pinup calendar, featuring Coulter and Malkin... and to Amerigo Vespucci for providing the pinup pics:



And finally, thanks to graywarrior for this honest reaction to the Coulter and Malkin pinup pics:


Thanks, DUers! You keep me sane. After all...

It's A Weird Wired World!

If only real news headlines weren't so easily FARKed! Alas, because they are, FARK dot commers are currently voting on the best FARKed headlines of 2007. A few of the top contenders:


Now, those are some attention-grabbing headlines. Too bad, the articles they represent are so watered down that the outrage level they inspire resembles packaged vanilla pudding in a Dixie cup, instead of hard-hitting news content.

It's 2008. Finally. Now what? By the time this column is published on Friday, the Iowa caucus will be history, and the prez candidates will be off to New Hampshire. No matter who our Dem prez candidate turns out to be in 2008, we all know we're in for the bumpiest ride Bette Davis could ever have imagined. The primary season is finally upon us. Fasten your seatbelts and keep sending those great blog links. Until next week, keep fighting those tightie righties and don't even think about making nice with Republicans. Do you think they'd be spewing their fake-assed "bipartisan unity" crap if they didn't have to? Hell, no.

-- Delilah Boyd

:thumbsup:

The timing this week was problematic.

My deadline is noon on Thursdays, which means
last night's Iowa Caucus will be covered in next
week's column, along with Wyoming and New Hampshire.

...with "conservative" or "William Kristol"

Off to Greatest Page w' ye!


:kick:

Delilah:
Thanks for the link to DUHMagazine.com! Unlike fark (one of our favorites) which posts fake headlines related to real stories, the site takes a little different approach by posting real headlines and writing a snarky lead line for the story. Here's a few more recent entries...

Romney Rolls Out Change Message, Too
In a misunderstanding of voter sentiment, Romney promised to increase the number of nickles, dimes and quarters minted during his administration.

`Subprime’ is linguists’ word of year
Many political analysts are projecting that given this year’s batch of presidential candidates, the word for 2008 will be “sub-par”.

Kucinich Files Complaint on ABC Debate
Dennis Kucinich protested ABC’s unfair requirements which stipulated the candidate’s supporters must outnumber the candidate’s family and staff.

Of course, we try to spread the snark around on all sides, but it's all in fun. Thanks again and all the best!